Rebel Coast's Sunday Funday

Rebel Coast's Sunday Funday
Region: Sonoma, California
Retailer: Sip! Wines' "Blends Have More Fun" Trio

And stay tuned for the rest of my reviews of the "Blends Have More Fun" trio!

I moved into my new house last year, in the dead end of the dog days of summer. It was far too hot to enjoy my backyard but now that spring is here and it's 76 and sunny, I'm trying to spend at least a couple hours every day out here. And many, many hours on Sundays. 

So this bottle of Sunday Funday defintely spoke to me when I opened up my "Blends Have More Fun" trio from Sip! Wines. 

Sip! Wines curates different trios of wine, all with fun, clever themes like "California Coast Road Trip", "Everything Is Coming Up Rosé" and "Play Your Chards Right". The trios are shipped straight to your door-- or your hotel if you have a trip coming up-- and are equipped with tasting notes, pairing ideas and information on the wineries. It's pretty sweet, and I'm super stoked to have three new blends to try.

And today, while my boyfriend pours mulch,
I'm pouring Sunday Funday.
Which wins best label designs.

First of all, the front side has everything illustrated that I love on it (besides my pets and my boyfriend and my sister and my Adidas Boosts). Then the back is basically a pass to do whatever you want to do with your day because the boys at Rebel Coast are proud of you, "even if your neighbors think otherwise". THEN you can PEEL OFF THAT LABEL and you HAVE A FUNNY TO-DO LIST! 

This would be the best gift wine ever just because the label is so fun. Take it to a picnic or a girls' night and complete the To-Do list! For me! Because I only have one ex from high school and he stalked me so I can't ever send him a selfie or even a pleasant "Hope you're well!", and the only public fountain near me is literally surrounded by punk vagrants, and my mom isn't on Facebook. 

The Sunday Funday has a stainless steel Chardonnay base, with Sauvignon Blanc and Viognier. I'm not a huge Chardonnay fan, and this tastes mostly like Chardonnay, but the good kind of Chardonnay. It's not buttery or oaky (RE: stainless steel tanks bro), just straight up tropical notes. Lovers of fruitier white wines, this is for you. It's easy drinking with subtle complexity, so you can have a conversation about the palate or just drink the hell out of it. 

Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc and Viognier are all considered very middle ground in terms of dry to sweet wines. If you're a fan of Moscatos and sweet Rieslings, this would be a fantastic bridge wine into new, drier varietals because it's really not that dry, and it's very juicy. My sister-in-law who I had to nearly fist fight to drink a Pinot Grigio would really love this. 

Give it a little time to open up and the fruit flavors become much more cohesive and smooth. Also a huge benefit of this wine is that I think it tastes better between cold and room temperature.

For my personal taste, this wine had a little too much fruit and viscosity on its own to just chug in the sun. But an added ice cube and a bag of Rusty's Island Potato Chips made it a perfect picnic for ONE. AKA ME. AKA ME RIGHT NOW. AKA ME FOR THE NEXT THIRTY SUNDAYS.

IT MAY BE SUNDAY BUT HEY THERE IS BUSINESS TO DO, CHECK OUT THIS "HEY I MEAN BUSINESS" STANCE, V V BUSINESS-LIKE

Tasting Notes: Smells like Viognier, tastes like Chardonnay and finishes like a Sauvignon Blanc-- Peach blossoms on the nose, pulpy Pineapple and Gala apples on the palate with a citrus melon musk finish. Very well balanced. I see this being a crowd pleaser at any weekend gathering.

Ross Test: EXTREMELY DO-ABLE. TROUBLESOME. :D

Wine Time: Sabering With Maxwell & Adam

Winerave pioneers Maxwell Leer and Adam Vourvoulis came over to my house to teach me how to party with bubbly and coconut knives without chopping off my fingers on Instagram videos. Special cameo from my favorite neighbor, Femi Lawson.

NOTE: The boom ended up totally not working so yes, we know, please don't bother leaving me a comment about it. Thanks for playing.

Villa Maria Private Bin Pinot Noir

Villa Maira Private Bin Pinot Noir
Price: $19.99
Region: Marlborough, New Zealand
Year: 2013
Retailer: Villa Maria online

Ever have one of those days that is so long and exhausting that you just have to get home and kiss the one you love? 

Yes, I had one of those days.

Last week, I put in my notice at my day job [please do not email me about this, I will not respond]. That in itself was a huge, kind of heartbreaking thing because I've been at my job for nearly four years, but also extremely exciting because I'm going to be pursuing writing and wine full time, but also extremely scary because uh hello, $$$. Today, I spent nearly eight hours interviewing people. Even though everyone was lovely, it was exhausting. Who knew drinking coffee and talking to lovely people for eight hours could drain you like... hm, my first instinct was to make an allusion to blow jobs but this is not that kind of drain, because that is ideal. This is the kind of drain that makes you want to fall asleep in a bath tub, never to be seen again.

The point is, I'm tired and emotional and have all sorts of feelings and BLAH.

WINE.
NOW.
PLEASE.

I was fortunate enough to have been recently sent some bottles of Villa Maria. Villa Maria is located in New Zealand, and I like them because they are organic and sustainable, or as their rep said "sheep-friendly and shit". I honestly couldn't have said it better myself so I won't try.

New Zealand is tight because they do have this whole Sustainable Wine Growing initiative (SWNZ) that is great. As a country, they work to maintain best practices for the environment and to have 100% of their wine growers work under those practices. They regularly audit to ensure that each winery is up to par on soil, irrigation, pest management and biodiversity.

Villa Maria has been a part of SWNZ since its establishment in 1995. They also have BioGrow certification in their winery and bottling facilities so they can trace their grapes to the bottle, ensuring they are each organic. 

Point is, that is tight and I dig it.

And thank god it also tastes good.

This wine is perfect for right now, a bright gray early evening of spring rain. 

This Pinot is airy and crisp with a slightly warm touch, much like this rain feels. Refreshing but with a sting. It feels like an Andrew Bird song from my past: extremely drinkable but not without a tinge of emotion.

Or maybe I just should skip past the Andrew Bird songs that come on shuffle because who the fuck has time for that.

NOT ME.
Do not have time to project my personal shit onto a Pinot.
NOT TONIGHT.

[Puts this song on and gets back to fucking business]

Ahem.

As I was saying, this Pinot is extremely drinkable. It's not complex, but I really do not need anything complex right now. I just need something juicy and enjoyable that has light notes hitting all over my tongue. I don't want to think about it, I want to drink about it. I want to be transported to somewhere else, for a moment or an hour.

It's like kissing without thinking. Sometimes you just need to make-out without anticipating what happens next or overanalyzing what's happening right now. Just fucking kiss me. And make it good. So we can leave all this, for just a moment or an hour. Or three. Or forever.

I have a couple bottles of Villa Maria, soooo.
Gonna have some siiiiiiiick make-out seshes OBVIII.

IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY!
Ugh, Kevin Morby just came on, I gotta get outta here before I go from sexy to sentimental like Drake 0 to 100 real quick.

Tasting Notes: Bright cherries on the nose and palate with a big, yet balanced, splash of acidity. I love how light it is and that it's kind of salty. It really does taste like spring rain. I am definitely drinking the whole bottle without a second thought. And I love that I don't have to have a second thought. It's just like, "YES THIS IS A GOOD IDEA." I don't need to be contemplating the universe of a wine every fucking night. Sometimes I just like having some good, environmentally friendly, fun.

Ross Test: Very do-able, but it gets a little chalky and too acidic. Prefer it in a glass, but let's not pretend I haven't chugged half of this bottle and wasn't cool with it because I was VERY COOL WITH IT. 

Fly Wine's "The Amplifier"

DISCLAIMER: I do not encourage self-medicating to deal with anxiety related issues, unless I am the one medicating myself and I'm allowed to do that because I'm a grown-ass woman who has to go on planes sometimes and I get to make all sorts of bad decisions for myself all the time.

I discovered Fly Wine while I was in Napa a couple weeks ago at the Oakville Market eating fried chicken sandwiches. At the check-out counter I saw these and thought, "Well. I am going to New York next week. And I do have a tendency of spending an unreasonable amount of money on wine in planes because it's the only way I can deal with being in a plane. So."

The price tag was $10, which is pretty on par for your piece of shit plane wine. But this was a plane wine with a 90 point rating, which is something I do not usually give a fuck about but of course I'm going to say that a 90 point rating is way better than a "piece of shit plane wine" rating. 

I bought three of "The Amplifier" Cabernet Sauvignon, which seemed reasonable, but then the cashier told me I could take up to five on a plane and then I was pissed I didn't buy more, but didn't want to then buy more because I didn't want to seem unreasonable. 

To my boyfriend, not the cashier. I couldn't have cared less about what the cashier thought about me but my boyfriend already thinks I'm fairly unreasonable and incredibly reckless when it comes to airport/plane drinking so, you know, three was just fine.

I get to the airport early and get through security too quickly, despite security scrutinizing my Fly Wine. They were not entirely convinced that 100mL is the same at the 3.3oz and went through my entire luggage, and definitely looked at my vibrator I bought myself for my birthday, but had the decency not to say shit, which I appreciated. 

I then sat at the bar for too long, and drank two extremely shitty expensive 9oz Malbecs while making conversation with all walks of life around me eating clam chowder, because that is the only thing you can buy and not go morally bankrupt at Gladstone's in LAX before getting on my plane, opening my Fly Wine, taking two Melatonin and one half of Valium. 

I mean, it was a Red-Eye, I had to take it seriously.

Especially considering I had forgotten my headphones and my Chicago Bulls neck pillow.

You might be thinking, "Hey, maybe after you drink a bunch and take a bunch of pills to help you sleep/not freak the fuck out, yeah maybe that isn't the best time to be reviewing wine."

BUT YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE THAT IS THE BEST TIME TO BE REVIEWING WINE FOR WINE THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DRINKING IN AN AIRPLANE BECAUSE HOW ELSE ARE YOU DRINKING WINE IN AN AIRPLANE?

Here were my thoughts:

"This wine smells mad jammy, and I hate the word 'jammy', but it's super jammy in a super good way. It's all raspberry and plum, with a hit of diner sugar packets when you tilt the glass. You know, like when you're a kid and you're an idiot so you sneak sugar packets? And eat them? Because your parents make you only drink milk? Ok that's what it smells like. Sugar packets. In a good way. 

It tastes like a very smooth Napa Cab. Which I'm very cool with. Still got that berry jammy, got that French oaky, got that vanilla. It's just smooth, man. Super smooth. Like Leon Bridges smooth. 

You can definitely Ross Test this. I Ross Tested half the bottle and it was great. This is the best plane wine I've ever had, and I'm very happy to have had it and only spent $10 on this bottle and loved it, rather than $9 and wanted to kill myself."

I then PTFO. And it was the worst sleep of my life because I didn't have my Bulls neck pillow but it's chill.

Two days later, I was back getting hassled by TSA and then getting drunk in a bar to negate my fears and then getting on a plane home with two bottles of Fly Wine. I was in one of those extra leg room exit rows that doesn't have a seat in front of you. I was seated next to a chatty older gentleman, who at first I was like, "Oh, no. Chatty, too nice me, next to a chatty, too nice older gentleman, this is trouble."

Which it was. He insisted on buying me a cocktail, so I insisted we drink Fly Wine. 

As it turned out, we both loved the Fly Wine even more than the cocktails, but I was then out of Fly Wine, so he kept buying cocktails and we spent the entire five hour flight talking about drag queen piano bars, $30 a night penthouses in Cuba, ex wives, rowdy harbor cruises, and whether or not anyone gives a shit about the wine point rating system, despite acknowledging we loved having the 90 point Fly Wine. 

Basically we're best friends now, me and Tony from 6E. 
His daughter in 6F was like, "Pffft. Typical." and rolled her eyes nine times.
But whatever. I now know a dude with hookups in Cuba that also knows a lot of HST quotes and loves tiny bougie travel wines and I got to have a lot of fun conversation instead of chomping black market Xani-bars, so pretty sure I took back the flight.

The point is, FLY WINE. GET IT. HAVE IT. TAKE IT WITH YOU. It's the best because it tastes delicious while you're working off a 40,000 feet anxiety attack AND you can make friends with it. It's the best conversation starter, and it's 10000x better than anything you're going to buy on the plane.  

TSA will give you shit because it "doesn't look like 3oz" but I promise you, it is 3oz. And they will let you go and you will feel like you totally came up in the world BECAUSE YOU DID. 

Napa, Spring 2015

I am Napa's hype man.

The Carneros Inn is a magical cottage commune where I want to live forever.

Breakfast of Champions: Scribe Riesling & Snacks

Larkmead Winery

Dopest wine bar goes to Cadet

Oenotri leftovers for breakfast in bed. Only thing missing: another charcuterie plate. 

Cathy Corison is a badass and her '05s are like drinking heaven.

Macaulay Wines' tasting room, a perfect man den cabin in the forest 

AND THE AWARD FOR SEXIEST LABEL GOES TO... ORIN SWIFT "MACHETE" 

Tiny baby Lucy Rosés I found at the Oakville Market <3

OUTDOOR SOAKING TUB. Need I say more?

The burgers at Boon Fly Cafe were a wonderful treat after nights of tasting menus.

Two weeks ago, I went to Napa for a long weekend for my birthday. Rather than my usual trips where I try to fit in as many free glasses of wine as possible, we decided to take it a bit easy. It turned out to be a totally relaxing and rejuvenating experience, especially while staying at the idyllic Carneros Inn. I could have stayed there for four days straight and been totally fine with it. Luckily for everyone, that isn't what I did. Sort of. I really did spend more time there than I've ever spent at a hotel while on vacation, but here is what else we did:

DRANK:
• Scribe
• Larkmead
• Heitz 
• Corison

ATE:
• Too much to remember at Bistro Don Giovanni
• Tasting menu with wine pairing at Farm
• Fried Chicken Sandwiches from Oakville Market
• Pizza and charcuterie at Oenotri 
• Burgers at Boon Fly Cafe
• More Fried Chicken Sandwiches from Oakville Market

WAS MERRY:
• At Cadet wine bar
• In our backyard at Carneros Inn, enjoying the soaking tub listening to jazz and playing Monopoly while listening to murder podcasts in front of our fire pit

I highly recommend all of these things because there isn't a single thing on this list that I don't wish I was currently doing instead of sitting on my couch looking at my incredibly messy house because I just got back from NYC and have way, way too much to do. C'EST LA VIE.

Wine Tasting At DomaineLA With Me AGAIN

WHEN: THURSDAY, ARPIL 2ND, 6-9PM
WHERE: DOMAINELA
$$$: ONLY $10 FOR THREE GLASSES
WHO: YOU + ME + UR FRIENDS + MY FRIENDS
PLUS SPINNING MY PERSONAL VINYL

NOTES:
- NO RESERVATIONS/TICKETS REQUIRED
- I THINK SHIRTS/SHOES ARE REQUIRED THO
- JUST COME, OK?

HERE'S A FACEBOOK INVITE THING TOO IN CASE THAT'S YOUR THING

Kezako Cab Franc, Track Suits & Getting Older

Sebastien David "Kenzako" Cab Franc
Price: $31.99
Region: Loire, France
Year: 2012
Retailer: DomaineLA

Tomorrow is my birthday. This is the first year I'm not throwing myself a big birthday party, and it's something I am cool with. Usually I need a big birthday party because I have to feed the monster that those who are close to me know is my ego, but this year, I just don't care. Or I'm too tired to care. I can't tell. Too much work and wine and uppers in the last month to give much of a shit about anything besides chilling out.

Hence my new tracksuit look.
It's a new year and a new style, but still the same old, "YO THERE IS NOTHING THAT MEANS MORE TO ME THAN CHILLING COMFORTABLY TOPLESS WITH MY WINE." 

Shout out to my new sponsors, Adidas. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm still doing lunch tomorrow and dinner tomorrow and going to Napa for four days. But that's a very adult birthday. This is the most adult birthday I've had in my whole life, which makes sense since this is the most adult I've ever been.

And this is a very adult wine for me to just be chugging alone in a tracksuit. I mean, it was $31.99. I don't go around buying wines that expensive for every day chugging, but fuck it, I'm going to be old tomorrow so GOTTA LIVE IT UP. TITTIES OUT. CAB FRANC IN MY MOUTH.

I love this wine. It tastes like I'm an adult.
Which I am.
Officially.
[weeps]

I am cool with it, really. The other night after a lot of wine, weed and other things, I laid in bed on cloud nine, thinking about how I'm definitely the most stressed I've ever been, but I'm also the closet to getting what I want in life than I've ever been. And that's why getting older is pretty cool. Suddenly the things you have been working towards on are the horizon, and not just in your dreams.

And you have track suits.
And kinda expensive natural French wines.
And still write with pieces of your childhood stuffed rabbit clutched in your hands because no matter how many track suits you own or how many wines you drink you are still an emotionally stunted and scared human trying to make something of herself. Which is always good to know. 

Anyway, this wine is really good. Birthdays are cool. Adidas is tight, thanks for sending me dope shit. I love Bun-Bun (suck it, Dad, yeah I've still got it, nice try trying to get me to throw it out when I was 10 HA HAAAA!).

Time to clean my house and get back to work and forget that birthdays are even a thing because there's way too much other shit to deal with than me being a year older. HA HAAAAA CAUSE I'M SUCH A GOD DAMN ADULT I'M SUCH AN ADULT MAN IT'S CRAZY I'M SO ADULTISH THIS IS WHY ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS AND I'M LIKE WHYYYY LOL IT'S CAUSE I'M GOING TO BE OLD TOMORROW! AND NOT THIRTY OLD. I'M NOT THIRTY YET. JUST ALMOST. BUT I MEAN IT'S COOL. AND EVEN THIRTY IS GONNA BE COOL. EVERYTHING IS VERY COOL. WE'RE COOL. I'M COOL GUYS.

Alright I just expelled all my energy caring for five seconds and now I don't care again. 

Such an adult! 

Tasting Notes: This wine is so good. Very much worth $31.99. It's got that natty freshness ya'all know I can't get enough of. The color is a deepening purple, like a very dark sea. It smells like fresh blackberries, anise, and a little ashy. The palate is super refreshing and poppy, with lots of raspberry and pepper, and a hint of my own tears.

Ross Test: I Ross Tested HALF THE BOTTLE. I only got a glass because I was like, "Oh, it'd be irresponsible of me not to at least try it in a glass." Enough said.

YES WAYYY ROSE

THIS SHIRT RULES, BUY IT AT YESWAYROSE.COM AKA RIGHT HERE ON THIS LINK

Leliévre Gris de Toul Millésime 2013

Leliévre Gris de Toul Millésime
Price: $18.99
Region: Lorraine, France
Year: 2013
Retailer: DomaineLA

Today felt like summer when I got home from work. The house was warm despite the AC, and the sun was low and bright despite being nearly six. I peeled off my jeans and went braless. I was listening to some new songs I was really excited about, and you have to know that every great summer has great accompaniment. 

I'm elated right now.

And maybe it's the weed I smoked when I got home, something I never do. Or the new vibrator I bought myself for my birthday next week, something I haven't done in probably ten years.

But I'm pretty sure it's being braless with a beautiful rosé and knowing that even though it's only March, I can feel this summer starting to squeeze softly on my soul. I couldn't say it any better today than I did in this Tumblr post from 2008:

Yesterday I felt it. I drove across that barren, reptilian highway, following the green signs to the promise land: Los Angeles. My skin was warm where the sun shined in through the windows & the the AC was just right. Right then, I felt it. That was how summer felt. Sunroof open, music blaring; I could almost hear my friends laughing in the backseat, singing wholeheartedly in their day-drunk to Jens Lekman, The Strokes & my infamous summer mixes of two thousand & six after a day of Captain Morgan & Coke where the western sun sets over the waves. I can never remember working in the summer or any domestic disputes. I know they were there but all faded away into the sunshine. The same desolate highways become stunning & promising trajectories toward some destination. It doesn’t matter where— the shoreline, the city, the middle of nowhere— they were all an unforeseeable adventure & an unorthodox paradise waiting to infuse my mind full of memories yet to be discovered & eternalized. 

The cynical side of me wants to laugh at that dreamy, idealistic child but I'm still that dreamy, idealistic child. Maybe more so than ever. 

And this rosé tastes just like that, an idyllic dream of Richard Linklater scenes where we're all falling in love and the scenery is practically a painting dripping all over us.

This Rosé is 90% Gamay, which probably explains a lot of the hearts in my eyes, but I want to drink this every warm day for the rest of the year. I want to be sunbathing with dozens of strawed bottles of this all around my lawn chair so that anywhere I put my face, I have at least three glasses at my disposal. I want to drink this all of summer 2015, and I want to take it back with me to every other perfect summer I've ever had. Because that's what it tastes like, a perfect summer. 

Salty like the ocean and floral like the tiny star jasmine hedges I would run past every night at dusk in my neighbor's year. A little chlorine-y, but it's the minerality, and I just have this weird affinity for chlorine. I'm weak in the knees. My thoughts go directly to hot concrete, first kisses, the sound of badminton in the backyard, and Sex Wax.

I've never loved a Rosé like this. I may have thought I did, but nope. Definitely not. Definitely have never wanted a Rosé in my mouth night after night after night like this. I'm not even finished with the first bottle, and I'm fantasizing about the next.

I don't even know what else to say. I wish I could write a song about this shit. I'm a fool for Leliévre Gris de Toul Millésime. A GOD DAMNED FOOL.

Tasting Notes: Alright, aside from what I already told you with its salt and floral and minerality, it reminds me of a jar of pepperoncinis. For the record, pepperoncinis are one of my favorite things in the world. I eat jars of them just alone while chilling in front of my fridge. It has to do with the high acidity, but it's super balanced. I would never tell you a wine tasted like pepperoncinis unless it was fucking delicious so just roll with me. It's so well-balanced, that this is a tangy treat. Ugh, someone please send me a million bottles?

Ross Test: The acidity gets to be a little questionable out of the bottle, but I think it would be very refreshing midday when it's really fucking hot.

Kaiken Ultra Malbec

Kaiken Ultra Malbec
Price: $17.99
Region: Mendoza, Argentina
Year: 2012
Retailer: Wine.com

Malbec has been the "It Girl" of wines over the last few years. Twenty years ago, you wouldn't have seen a Malbec on a menu. Now, it's on the tip of everyone's tongue when you're out to eat. It's the new go-to, with everyone who used to only drink Cabs now slyly mentioning Malbec with a slight air of pretension. 

And I make fun of those people and Malbecs.
And the great thing is, that Malbec can take it. 

Malbec is a simmering velvet powerhouse that laughs right along with me. Malbec knows she's been in Mendoza since the late 1800's, killing the game. Sure she appreciates all the new critical acclaim and popularity, but at the same time, she knows you're being kinda starfucker-y with her. I mean who goes around pompously name dropping like that?

Oh, right. 
Wine drinkers and starfuckers. 

That being said, I love me a good Malbec.
And the Kaiken Ultra is an It Girl.

Fashionable and charismatic, this is the kind of wine I wouldn't mind bragging about hanging out with if I saw her on a menu. I'm not even that kind of person, but I would be so happy to be out and be like, "OMG! I totally hung out with her one night! She is a little intense at first, but if you just let her open up for half an hour, she is really smooth and like, pretty graceful. I like, love her. We should totally have her!" And then we could all take a selfie together and post it on Instagram in a very humblebrag sort of fashion.

Speaking of which, I should probably Instagram this. [insert Miley face]

Tasting Notes: Smells like lavender soap, blackberries and pepper. The palate is full and round, with lots of tobacco and plums. It has made me hungry for a big saucey bowl of pasta, or a pork chop, or some Saint Andre cheese. What I'm saying is-- this is a great wine to serve with almost anything so it's time for dinner.

Ross Test: Not worth it. The acidity that is so well-balanced in the glass becomes way too overpowering when chugging.