The Non-Beer-Drinker’s Guide to Drinking Beer
I wrote about my tips for beer-ginners, and also got my buddy, real life beer writer and expert Ethan Fixell, to chime in with his professional tips on Man Repeller for National Beer Day.
Wine Time: Domaine Guion Bourgueil
Domaine Guion Bourgueil
Varietal: Cabernet Franc
Region: Loire, France
Year: 2012
Price: $14.99
Retailer: DomaineLA
I know it's been a million years since I posted a Wine Time so guess what, here is one for you! A dreamily affordable Cab Franc that smells kinda like a fajitas and a dude you could date.
Shot & Edited by Josh Fuss
Music by Monster Rally
Château Flotis "Si Noire"
Château Flotis "Si Noire"
Varietal: Negrette
Region: Fronton, France
Year: 2010
Price: $18
Retailer: Lou Wine Shop
2016 has been wild so far. Between starting at Bon Appétit, going to Spain twice, hosting a two day wine pool party and turning 30, I haven't had much time to review much wine despite drinking enough of it to nearly kill me.
Having a moment to sit here with the Château Flotis right now feels like a gift. The goal has always been to get off the internet, but the truth is there is a comfort in this medium that cannot be found in emails from my editors or scribbling shorthand into Moleskins in a vineyard six thousand miles away. I've dreamed of those things, and am so grateful to see it come to fruition, but still. This corner of my couch, listening to "Starman" on repeat without headphones on, without anyone to please but myself and no fucks given, is a pleasure. I can't say I didn't appreciate it before, because I have always truly treasured these moments, but it is that much sweeter now.
I probably should have chosen a white wine to review since I haven't since September, but I've had this French red that has just been sitting on the shelf waiting for me to love and I couldn't resist. I have very little self-control, especially when it comes to funky French reds.
Château Flotis is made by winemaker Katia Garrouste. The back of the bottle makes a point to say that her wines "reflect her unique perspective" but "aren't 'feminine' per se", which annoys me. I can't tell if they wanted to point people in that direction, towards the wine's subtle femininity or if they're trying to assure people that just because it is made by a woman, not to worry! You're still masculine if you drink it! Maybe I am jaded and tired and got a super lame email from a dude comparing photos I post of me in a bikini on my own accord to being exploited for my body, but at any rate, it annoys me. Katia is a badass winemaker with tons of potential, and it's great to highlight women making wine, but I don't see the benefit of saying the wine isn't "'feminine' per se".
My heightened and perhaps displaced sense of sexism aside, I really love this wine.
It's so soft and light on the front, like a favorite, worn thin, vintage jersey t-shirt moving across collar bones. But the back is substantial, tannic and fiesty. It goes from fruity and flirty to savory and sexy so quickly. And the whole time, it is so well-balanced. There isn't a note out of place. It's like an Olympic gymnast doing a whole floor routine to a Shakira song on a balance beam. There are so many flavors that dance upon your palate, and it is incredible how linear they are while still showcasing so much finesse.
Although this is has been a great wine to just hang out with on my couch, I would recommend eating with it. It's a bit acidic and gripping for drinking alone, and I wouldn't mind biting into a big juicy cheeseburger right now. Or cassoulet as the label recommends as the traditional pairing, but also cheeseburgers.
Alright, I have to go get ready for my life but know I love this wine and I love you.
Tasting Notes: Christmas cranberry mom-pedicure color. Smells like peppered, strawberry fruit leathers. Tastes like the best god damn dinner wine I've yet to actually eat dinner with. Ah! It's so light while still delivering acidic and tannic depth. Make sure to let this breathe for at least thirty minutes, otherwise it is too tannic and acidic and not nearly as enjoyable.
Ross Test: Wow, I am genuinely surprised at how well it went! Usually tannic and acidic wines aren't always smooth going down, but that vintage jersey t-shirt soft I spoke about at the front of this wine actually carries it down the hatch quite nicely!
ON BON APPÉTIT: LET'S MAKE PORT COOL AGAIN
Let's Make Port Cool Again
Port may be your grandma’s drink, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be your drink, too. Because here’s the thing: Port is really good. Like, mink coats, Adidas sweatpants and Codeine good.
On Bon Appétit: What Happens If You Buy Wine Based on the Label?
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU BUY WINE BASED ON THE LABEL?
Apparently you get some solid references to the Ventures and Barbarella. But would you expect anything less from me? Click on over to read about these hot font-ed babes.
On a side note...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, IT'S REAL
I WRITE FOR FUCKING BON APPETIT
My heart is just continuously peeing its pants over this.
Ask A Wino: Spritzers & Spit Buckets, Tacos & Planes, and "The Guilties"
SUBMIT YOUR OWN QUESTIONS ABOUT WINE, LIFE, LOVE, BURRITOS, PETS, SUNBATHING, ETC. VIA:
• This Handy Submission Form
• Get personal & ask anonymously on Tumblr
• Get at me on Twitter @MarissaARoss
• Leave a comment on Instagram
• In The Comments Below
• Wherever you find me on the internet
#ASKAWINO
Le Sot de l'Ange "Rouge G"
Le Sot de l'Ange "Rouge G"
Varietal: Gamay
Region: Loire, France
Year: 2014
Price: $22
Retailer: Silverlake Wine
2016 is here, and it wouldn't look like much has changed aside from the fact that it is finally raining in Los Angeles. I'm still here drinking Gamay and spending too much time analyzing true crime. WHICH IS PRETTY IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO DO IF YOU HAVE WATCHED MAKING A MURDERER.
I probably have only vaguely mentioned it here, but I LOVE TRUE CRIME. YES IN ALL BOLD CAPS. Being a hermit who stays home drinking wine all day, it is easy for me to devour endless podcasts, get lost in Reddit rabbit holes and get stoned and regret Google searching crime scene photos. I watched the entire series of Making A Murderer in 24 hours, and have even started rewatching it because apparently I am a masochist.
I don't want to get into.
But I don't think Steven Avery did it!
I mean sure, if the evidence was found how the prosecution presented it was found then of course, he should be a suspect. But those fucking blood marks in the car look like they were straight-up Q-Tipped from Essie's Tomboy No More nail polish, and if I believe the blood was planted then I have to believe that everything was planted, SO I BELIEVE IT WAS ALL PLANTED AND STEVEN DIDN'T DO IT.
But like I said, I don't want to get into it. Anyway.
Yesterday I nabbed this bottle I hadn't seen before from my homies at Selection Massale. I trust them like I trust my own blood and bought it without hesitation. Gamay? Loire? Selection Massale? What could go wrong?
I bet that's what Steven Avery thought too. Then eight days later they've got him for murder based on a car key that mysteriously showed up behind some slippers. Now, I'm no detective, but from my experiences with car keys, they are never just hanging out in the open. Car keys are one of the hardest things in the world to find, along with lost arks, mythical lake monsters, and Obama's birth certificate.
But seriously, I don't want to get into it.
Unlike Steven Avery, nothing went wrong with this wine! I'd even go as far to say that this wine tastes like I just won a 36 million dollar civil case it's so good!
WHICH STEVEN SHOULD HAVE WON.
OK MAYBE NOT 36 MIL, BUT SOMETHING!!!
AND NOT BE IN JAIL BECAUSE SCOTT & BOBBY DID IT!!!
OKAY, I'M SORRY WE REALLY DON'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
What we do need to talk about is how much I love this wine. It is an outstanding example of what I love about biodynamic Gamays. Straight-forward, bright and punchy, the Rouge G is the life of the party. Or perhaps more accurately, the party itself. It's energetic and fun most importantly, but there are the other nuances. Shadowy, sensual little corners that aren't surprising but still exciting. Also the tiny residuals at the bottom of the glass look like tiny little glitters! IT IS A PARTY!!!
Tasting Notes: Candied barnyard boysenberry with light plumeria and licorice on the bouquet, like an adult pool in Willy Wonka's factory. Light and mad chuggable with poppy, smooth blackberry and a tart finish. So so good.
Ross Test: A bit acidic, but very glou-glou by my standards. Do it to it, babes.
On Vice Munchies: A Quick Guide to Buying New Year’s Eve Bubbly
A QUICK GUIDE TO BUYING NEW YEAR'S EVE BUBBLY
Champagne isn't the only fish in the sea! Here is my guide to all sorts of fun bubbles you can ring the new year in with.
Ask A Wino: New Year's Edition
In this episode of Ask A Wino, we talk about how to open a bottle of bubbly without knocking an eye out of your face, which Champagnes are the bubbliest, what to drink on New Year's if you like reds, 2016 wine trends and I get sparkling wine up my nose.
SUBMIT YOUR OWN QUESTIONS ABOUT WINE, LIFE, LOVE, BURRITOS, PETS, SUNBATHING, ETC. VIA:
• This Handy Submission Form
• Get personal & ask anonymously on Tumblr
• Get at me on Twitter @MarissaARoss
• In The Comments Below
• Wherever you find me on the internet
#ASKAWINO
Some Thoughts On Glassware
Calvin Klein Hampshire Red Wine Glasses
One of the questions I get year round is, "What wine glasses should I be using?"
It's a pretty damn valid question considering how many damn glass options there are. There's big bowled Pinot glasses and slightly tuliped Bordeaux glasses and Champagne flutes and coupes and then just like, a white wine glass? Is that what it is? No one knows. It just looks like a god damn wine glass.
Different glasses are made for different wines to accentuate their bouquets and give them room to breathe and open up. Of course, in a dream world, I would have a set of each type of wine glass for each type of wine, and I would be an extremely impressive human that no one would ever suspect spent the early portion of her twenties drinking Charles Shaw out of red Solo cups.
I've tried playing the multiple glass set game, and it is a costly one. Not only do you have your initial investment of multiple sets of wine glasses, but up-keeping these sets becomes obnoxious. I thought that my late twenties would usher in a time where friends, family and myself were more cautious with wine glasses but the truth is, shit happens and your wine glasses are going to break no matter what. Just this past week I snapped a stem while getting one off the rack and I was sober. So then, you're stuck with like, three Chardonnay glasses, five Cabernet glasses and one random Sauterine glass that you didn't know was for Sauterine but doesn't matter now because they're all fucking broken.
But go to any tasting and look at what you're drinking out of. Whether it's red, white or sparkling, you're probably drinking all three out of a standard red or white glass. The red standard glass is a touch rounder than the standard white, but seriously it doesn't matter. They're standard-ass wine glasses you an put whatever you want in.
My advice to wine drinkers is to have a standard, stemmed, glass set that you can service everything in that is easily replaceable. I specifically say stemmed because as much as I like tumblers for red wine, they are terrible for white wine. You don't want to be heating up that icy Riesling with those sweaty little palms of yours!
If you want to get a little fancy, you can do what I do and have two versatile, standard glass sets. I have one that is for every day drinking, and one that I save for special occasions and holidays, like these Calvin Klein Hampshire glasses.
I love the lead-free crystal CK Hampshire wine glasses because they are beautiful and exemplify my love of mid-century stylings more than my everyday glass-glasses I let my guests break in my bushes all summer. They remind me of Slim Aarons' Palm Springs, Eames chairs and Case Study houses. These glasses make me want to sashay through The Kaufman House in a vintage Dior gown, run my fingers along the backside of the body of a black grand piano listening to Nina Simone and Les Baxter, and graciously accept yet another Jello mold.
Mid-Century Bonus: Getting to feel like a housewife cleaning crystal glasses by hand!
JK I wash all my glasses by hand because I'm an insane person who also has polishing gloves.
When it comes to wine, the wine matters much more than what its served in. Your guests seriously don't care. And if they do, they're assholes who you shouldn't have over to drink wine with you anyway, so fuck them. And definitely don't let them near your fancy Calvin Klein crystal. They don't deserve to feel like they're in a Julius Schulman lifestyle shot.
So buy what you like and use them for everything. Even if they're gnarly goblets or some shit. Whatever. Just drink wine and be merry. Everything else will fall into place.
