YOUR HOLIDAY DRINKING GUIDE
From hosting to gifting to buying to spilling, I've given Man Repeller all my best tips on being a wino this holiday season.
On Saveur: Top Holiday Wines with Whole Foods
TOP HOLIDAY WINES WITH SAVEUR MAGAZINE & WHOLE FOODS
I had the pleasure of partnering with Saveur Magazine & Whole Foods to review some of my favorite holiday wines at Whole Foods, and also answer a few burning holiday wine questions like, "What goes with Turducken?" which is surprisingly my number one asked holiday question despite not knowing a single person who would actually make that shit.
Bechtold Alsace Crémant
Bechtold Alsace Crémant
Region: Alsace, France
Year: 2013
I always dreamt of living in New York when I was younger, and having a real holiday season. I'd imagine myself all bundled up and shaking snow off my jacket as I entered my apartment, which was much larger and with much more crown molding than I could ever actually afford in New York. There was also a fireplace, which from what I've gathered from my hundred visits to the Big Apple, is not a real thing for a writer under thirty. But I'd sit next to that fantasy fireplace and I would listen to Vince Guaraldi and drink wine and watch snow cascade down my window, down onto a quiet Brownstone lined street. I would have Meg Ryan's perfect hair, Meg Ryan's perfect poised "there's something so much more there" smile, Meg Ryan's sweater collection... okay, I would be Meg Ryan.
On the contrary, my holiday seasons have mostly consisted of me flipping off sandals and not being Meg Ryan.
Although the California Christmas experience is not the vision I stitched together from 90's movies, it has it's moments. I love the quiet ones, much like I imagined for myself in a borough where Tom Hanks lives. The instrumental version of "Christmas Time Is Here" hangs in the room while the freshly trimmed tree twinkles. The atmosphere is soft and warm, and truly relaxing. It feels like the first time you've really gotten to sit back all year. And even though all is calm, there is still a sense of excitement sparkling.
Few wines could encompass this feeling like the Bechtold Alsace Crémant. Smooth and crisp, this sips like a favorite white wine but has these tiny, spirited bubbles. They are not aggressive or even unruly. They are steady and comforting, like good company and conversation on your couch.
I love this wine because although it could very well be a celebratory pop, for me, it is a "sit back and enjoy the magic while we have it" wine. It's bright and merry without being a holiday office party wine. Even though it's sparkling, this wine is slower. I want to take my time with it, and subsequently take some time for myself.
This is the wine I would be drinking while I watched the snow fall outside my New York window. And this is the wine I will be using to take pleasure in the season here in California. Because no, it does not snow. But it was never the snow that I was looking for. It was the feeling. And with the right wine, a good cozy knit, and A Charlie Brown Christmas, it feels like everything I want Christmas to feel like.
LIKE MEG RYAN!
Just kidding.
Kinda.
Tasting Notes: Extremely light on the nose. The palate is effortless and scrumptious, like my mother's lemon bars. Well balanced minerality, and all around a wonderful drinker.
Ross Test: Bubbles are always a little tough but this one is do-able!
Folk Machine Charbono
Folk Machine Charbono
Region: Suisun, California
Year: 2014
Price: $18.99
Retailer: DomaineLA
Fuck man. It's December. When did that happen?
I don't know why I'm surprised. I am surprised every year, as if December doesn't usually show up. You'd think I'd get over it after twenty some odd years living on Earth and all, but here I am, with my eyes popping out of their cartoon sockets at the sight of a calendar.
I love December so much. It is one of my favorite months. But it's bittersweet. No matter how many ornaments you hang, or cookies you eat, or mistletoes you strategically get caught under, it's still the end. It's easy to accept the passage of time when spring blends into summer and summer slides into fall's tranquil interlude. Not so easy when it's staring you down from three weeks from now and your new desk calendar you swear is going to change your life arrives in the mail shrieking "JANUARY! 20FUCKING16!" in your face.
This Charbono tastes like that. Bittersweet. Like I'm already sad about the bottle being gone while I'm still drinking it because I want it to last forever. It tastes like a night you know will end or... oh, no I'm sounding like lyrics from that one Eve 6 song. Okay, I'm done waxing poetic/2001. You are literate and of drinking age, you understand the meaning of "bittersweet".
It also tastes bittersweet because it tastes like slightly sour Cherry Coke, which is fucking remarkable. Sour and Cherry Coke are probably my two favorite flavors in the WORLD. To have them come together in my favorite alcoholic beverage is bonkers. I love that it strikes you on the tip of your tongue and then mellows out on the swallow, which sounds sexual but because I am my own editor, I'm LEAVING IT.
Although Charbono is one of California's original grapes, it is rarely produced these days. The Folk Machine Charbono not only utilizes one of California's "endangered" grapes, but it excels at it. Its bouquet is big and bold, but it's actually much lighter and charming than your nose would lead you to believe. Although it does have its tannins, they are well-balanced, making this wine a joy to drink rather than a chore. Truly a lovely bottle that I believe captures what I love so much about California's history and future in winemaking.
Tasting Notes: The bouquet is big, earthy and fruity with lots of crisp blackberries. On the palate, medium-light body with lots of dark ripe cherries, vanilla, nutmeg and a touch of orange. Dry but balanced tannins leave you thirsty for more.
Ross Test: PASS!
On VICE Munchies: A Holiday Wine Guide for Every Crazy Person in Your Family
A HOLIDAY WINE GUIDE FOR EVERY CRAZY PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY
From Republicans to Stoners to that Aunt who won't shut up about the wedding you aren't even close to having, me and Munchies have the perfect wine pairings for your not so perfect family.
DeForville Barbera D'Asti
DeForville Barbera D'Asti
Region: Piedmont, Italy
Year: 2013
Price: ~ $20
Despite being what could be described as a debaucherous heathen with few principles and no god, I fucking love Christmas. I love decorating the house and tree, tossing back whiskey ciders in front of Netflix's "Fire Place for Your Home", and Christmas With The Rat Pack on CD. I love ignoring everyone and only making time to eat way too much food and watch Home Alone and the first Harry Potter on repeat with my sister.
Real quick-- If you don't classify the first Harry Potter as a Christmas movie, you are not on my level. That shit is a Christmas movie. There is too much snow and magic for it not to be a Christmas movie.
I've been chomping at the bit for the holidays, and have recently been banned from belting out Mariah Carey while Ben is home until after Mashed Potato Day (also known as Thanksgiving). And at first I was like, "Yeah, you're right. Shouldn't rush things. I need to just let the holidays come to me..."
AND THEN CHRISTMAS DID COME TO ME!!!
AND NOW TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS.
BECAUSE THIS WINE TASTES JUST LIKE CHRISTMAS.
I PUT ON MY ELVIS CHRISTMAS RECORD
AND IT WAS BASICALLY CHRISTMAS.
As a whole, this wine is like a new pine wreath with tiny little cranberry branches strewn throughout, with a touch of cider on the back end. It's warm and fuzzy and feels like whiskey in your belly. Liquor Long Johns, if you will, or perhaps that feeling when you walk into your heated hotel after being forced to walk around fucking freezing-ass Chicago on a flurrying December 23rd.
This is a wine for huggers. And maybe I am biased, because I am a hugger and I love hugging, but this wine makes me want to hug the shit out of you. Yes, you. I want to hug you and say thank you so much for reading my shit and wish you the happiest of holidays. I also want to hug your pets if you have any, but that's less about this wine and really about all wine.
The DeForville is sentimentality in a glass. It's so familiar, and yet, fresh. With each holiday season, isn't that what we're all looking for? That smell, that taste, that feeling... but with new meaning and wonder. This red is full and flourishes in all the ways you want a red wine to, but it is unexpectedly soft and welcoming, much like this time of year should be.
Tasting Notes: Dark ruby with light pine and ripe cherries and cranberries on the nose. Full-bodied, fruity, woodsy and spicy on the palate. The most perfect after-dinner-"let's snuggle up" Christmas Eve wine.
Ross Test: GOD DAMNED DELIGHTFUL AND I WANT TO DO IT ALL DAY
On VICE Munchies: Why You Should Be Drinking Beaujolais All The Time
WHY YOU SHOULD BE DRINKING BEAUJOLAIS ALL THE TIME
Nouveau may mark the start of the holidays, but Beaujolais isn't a seasonal wine;
IT'S AN ALL THE TIME WINE.
Lise & Bertrand Jousset "Exile" Rosé Pétillant
Lise & Bertrand Jousset Rosé Pétillant
Varietal: Gamay
Region: Loire, France
Year: 2013
Price: ~$20
I'm off my game today. I can't tell you how many photos of my dumb fucking face I tried to take with this wine. I want to say, "Don't you hate that?!" as if that is at all relatable, like everyone is jerry-rigging their cameras to take pictures with bottles of wine because they're 90% sure their tri-pod is in the back of their fiancé's car. Instead, you get this still-life of my beauty products because that's what I did! I drank this rosé while trying my new rose face mask from Fresh, recommended by Best Coast beauty queen Beth, who is my skincare sage. She knows everything about face masks, and one thing people don't know about me is that I LOVE FACE MASKS. EVERYTHING WITH SKIN CARE. EVERYTHING BATH AND BODY BUT NOT BATH & BODY WORKS. OK FINE. I EVEN WOULD PROBABLY STILL LOVE SOME BATH & BODY WORKS.
Most people think I spend all my money on clothes, but the truth is, I spend most of my money on wine and skincare. Seriously. I may have a problem. When Ben and I decided to get a joint bank account, I kept my personal one because of "savings", but really it's because "skincare". Have you ever tried to explain La Mer to a dude? It's impossible. Just try. I can't have him seeing how much I spend on this shit, he'd legit be so disappointed (I was going to say break my leg but he's not aggressive like that, and his disappointed face is much worse than any physical harm he could inflict).
BUT IT'S MY FACE!
I CAN'T JUST GET A NEW ONE LIKE AN H&M BUTTON-UP!
I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS ONE!
I haven't drank in three days so I was excited to pop this and celebrate my return! And also my new face mask. I mean, what could possibly pair better with a pet-nat rosé than a face mask featuring little particles of roses that made me look like I had chicken pox in all the photos? NOTHING!
Holy shit, I don't think I've ever talked about Pétillant Naturel, which is a sin because it's a personal favorite. Pétillant Naturel, otherwise known by its pet name Pet-Nat, is a lightly sparkling wine that is naturally carbonated when winemakers cut off fermentation before all the sugar is consumed by yeast. They throw a cap on it, and as the yeast continues to eat the sugar, it produces extra carbon dioxide and voila. Mild carbonation. Most Pet-Nats are unfiltered, funky and fucking awesome. Thanks for your attendance at the MAR Wine Academy, now back to this rosé.
The Exile tastes like the Fresh rose mask and Blondie's "Heart of Glass". Now hear me out. I know that sounds crazy but you know I've got this. Much like the rose mask, the Exile is cheek sucking and smells like florals on the wind. And like Blondie's "Heart of Glass", it's a harmonious party in a glass. Of my heart. This wine is in my heart for sure. I mean, combine "Loire", "Gamay" and "Pet-Nat" in any order and I will need a new pair of panties.
(My love of alliteration trumps my hatred of "panties".)
This is dancing wine! Shoulder shimmin', tit shakin', hip swayin', love makin' wine. I'd chalk it up to the Blondie, but I listen to Blondie while drinking a lot of shit and I don't feel this good. I'm not saying I'll do this, or that you should, but this tastes like I should be doing a lot of cocaine and ruling a dance floor somewhere. Like, I want to drink a bottle of this and get into a dance battle. A sexy dance battle. And I'd be running my hands through my very 70's middle-parted hair and pelvic thrusting my adversary into submission. After I shamed their horrible moves, we'd pop a hundred more bottles of this. And I'd let the loser come and hang because I'm nice, but they'd know forever that I was the queen of shoulder shimmin' and pet-nats.
And yet, it is also very good for wearing a full sweatsuit and rubbing shit on your face while wearing Ugg slippers you swore you'd never own, but now you love oh so much. And dreaming of being a dancing queen. But not listening to ABBA because, c'mon guys.
My neighbors have to be concerned over the amount of time I've replayed "Heart of Glass" at this point.
Tasting Notes: On the nose, it's like a dozen roses lost at sea; floral but salty. On the palate, lots of raspberry and strawberry, with clenching minerality and acidity. A perfect wine for day-drinking, or getting a party started.
Ross Test: Bubbles are always hard :(
Louis-Antoine Luyt Legno Duro
Louis-Antoine Luyt Legno Duro
Varietal: Carginan
Region: Maule, Chile
Year: 2014
Price: $20.99
Retailer: DomaineLA
The cool thing about having a wine store you love and trust completely is that you can buy shit based on the labels with greater success. Like, I know anything I buy from Domaine is going to be up my alley so I don't have a problem throwing down $20 for dope font work.
In this case though, the dope font work was on a bottle from Louis-Antoine Luyt, so it was going to be good no matter what. The native Burgundian's Chilean wines are organic and fermented using carbonic maceration (the same technique that makes Beaujolais so damn delicious).
I opened this wine, and jesus christ was it acidic. Like someone got in your mouth and titty-twisted your jowls acidic. I let it breathe for a couple hours, and holy moly. It opened up into a very drinkable and fun wine. It ironed out so much, but still maintained a sense of its organic grittiness. Like gravelly guitars with clean melodies.
It's so energized, it feels light on its feet, but also grounded. Like, literally grounded, as in soil. But also just grounded, like there is something more to it. Sure it's easy-drinking and goes down like water on a Saturday afternoon, but there is a thoughtful weight behind it. It reminds me of the dance scene in Pulp Fiction. It's as playful as doing The Swim but its as serious as Uma Thurman's stare. And I want to twist with it all night long.
Tasting Notes: Dusty and spicy with bell pepper and wet garden herbs on the nose. Earthy but tart, with a bit of salt and metalic minerality. Smooth but dirty. Juicy on the front and dry on the back. Which sounds very sexy. BECAUSE IT IS.
Ross Test: Definitely let it open up but then you're definitely good to go.
Also Check Out: Louis-Antoine Luyt 'Pipeno Santa Juana'
Halcyon Cabernet Franc
Halcyon Cabernet Franc
Region: Paso Robles, California
Year: 2014
Price: $39
Retailer: Halcyonwines.com
A highly regarded mainstay of the Paso Robles landscape, it would be hard to find a lover of California wines who did not enjoy Tablas Creek. So when I heard that assistant wine maker, Tyler Elwell, was launching a new wine label of his own, I couldn't help but be very excited, especially considering it was cabernet franc focused and Loire inspired. Each wine has a playlist to accompany it curated by Tyler & Kim, which is extremely tight.
It just started raining, and oh man, I couldn't be happier to be in sweatpants drinking this beauty. I opened the windows and let the wet draft in. It has been so long since I felt cold air on my face or smelled wet concrete and leaves. The magenta bougainvillea outside my window hang heavy under the water weight, the shades of the petals mimicking the colors of Halcyon's dazzling label.
The definition of the word halcyon is "denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful." But the beauty of Halcyon wine is that that happy and peaceful time is right now.
Their website touts this cab-franc as a summer red, perfect for chilling and grilling. If I had reviewed this weeks ago, I would have agreed and told you to make burgers. But that makes me even happier that I'm reviewing it on this sublimely rainy evening because it's also perfect for sweatpants, making tomato soup and watching X-Files. I love how versatile it is! It's like the perfect date! Up for anything! And cool, composed and sexy throughout it all! It's just so, so smooth, but still a little edgy so you know it's real. Like it's down to chill for sure, but it will also call you on your shit and make you laugh. This is totally your summer fling that lasts through the holidays.
And when I say "lasts through the holidays", I mean it dumps you. You would never dump this wine. It's too perfect. You'd have to be one of those liars that were like, "I'm sorry you're too perfect." It's just so well balanced that if you are not into it, you are totally unbalanced.
Tasting Notes: Cinnamon sticks, cranberry, orange and slight peat on the nose. Tastes like smooth, ripe, berry chiffon jam. Luxurious in texture, light in weight. Pristinely balanced. So traditionally California, but brightly French. A new favorite.
Ross Test: So easy going. Ugh, like, stop trying to get me to stalk you after you dump me in January please.
