Napa, Spring 2015

I am Napa's hype man.

The Carneros Inn is a magical cottage commune where I want to live forever.

Breakfast of Champions: Scribe Riesling & Snacks

Larkmead Winery

Dopest wine bar goes to Cadet

Oenotri leftovers for breakfast in bed. Only thing missing: another charcuterie plate. 

Cathy Corison is a badass and her '05s are like drinking heaven.

Macaulay Wines' tasting room, a perfect man den cabin in the forest 

AND THE AWARD FOR SEXIEST LABEL GOES TO... ORIN SWIFT "MACHETE" 

Tiny baby Lucy Rosés I found at the Oakville Market <3

OUTDOOR SOAKING TUB. Need I say more?

The burgers at Boon Fly Cafe were a wonderful treat after nights of tasting menus.

Two weeks ago, I went to Napa for a long weekend for my birthday. Rather than my usual trips where I try to fit in as many free glasses of wine as possible, we decided to take it a bit easy. It turned out to be a totally relaxing and rejuvenating experience, especially while staying at the idyllic Carneros Inn. I could have stayed there for four days straight and been totally fine with it. Luckily for everyone, that isn't what I did. Sort of. I really did spend more time there than I've ever spent at a hotel while on vacation, but here is what else we did:

DRANK:
• Scribe
• Larkmead
• Heitz 
• Corison

ATE:
• Too much to remember at Bistro Don Giovanni
• Tasting menu with wine pairing at Farm
• Fried Chicken Sandwiches from Oakville Market
• Pizza and charcuterie at Oenotri 
• Burgers at Boon Fly Cafe
• More Fried Chicken Sandwiches from Oakville Market

WAS MERRY:
• At Cadet wine bar
• In our backyard at Carneros Inn, enjoying the soaking tub listening to jazz and playing Monopoly while listening to murder podcasts in front of our fire pit

I highly recommend all of these things because there isn't a single thing on this list that I don't wish I was currently doing instead of sitting on my couch looking at my incredibly messy house because I just got back from NYC and have way, way too much to do. C'EST LA VIE.

Wine Tasting At DomaineLA With Me AGAIN

WHEN: THURSDAY, ARPIL 2ND, 6-9PM
WHERE: DOMAINELA
$$$: ONLY $10 FOR THREE GLASSES
WHO: YOU + ME + UR FRIENDS + MY FRIENDS
PLUS SPINNING MY PERSONAL VINYL

NOTES:
- NO RESERVATIONS/TICKETS REQUIRED
- I THINK SHIRTS/SHOES ARE REQUIRED THO
- JUST COME, OK?

HERE'S A FACEBOOK INVITE THING TOO IN CASE THAT'S YOUR THING

Kezako Cab Franc, Track Suits & Getting Older

Sebastien David "Kenzako" Cab Franc
Price: $31.99
Region: Loire, France
Year: 2012
Retailer: DomaineLA

Tomorrow is my birthday. This is the first year I'm not throwing myself a big birthday party, and it's something I am cool with. Usually I need a big birthday party because I have to feed the monster that those who are close to me know is my ego, but this year, I just don't care. Or I'm too tired to care. I can't tell. Too much work and wine and uppers in the last month to give much of a shit about anything besides chilling out.

Hence my new tracksuit look.
It's a new year and a new style, but still the same old, "YO THERE IS NOTHING THAT MEANS MORE TO ME THAN CHILLING COMFORTABLY TOPLESS WITH MY WINE." 

Shout out to my new sponsors, Adidas. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm still doing lunch tomorrow and dinner tomorrow and going to Napa for four days. But that's a very adult birthday. This is the most adult birthday I've had in my whole life, which makes sense since this is the most adult I've ever been.

And this is a very adult wine for me to just be chugging alone in a tracksuit. I mean, it was $31.99. I don't go around buying wines that expensive for every day chugging, but fuck it, I'm going to be old tomorrow so GOTTA LIVE IT UP. TITTIES OUT. CAB FRANC IN MY MOUTH.

I love this wine. It tastes like I'm an adult.
Which I am.
Officially.
[weeps]

I am cool with it, really. The other night after a lot of wine, weed and other things, I laid in bed on cloud nine, thinking about how I'm definitely the most stressed I've ever been, but I'm also the closet to getting what I want in life than I've ever been. And that's why getting older is pretty cool. Suddenly the things you have been working towards on are the horizon, and not just in your dreams.

And you have track suits.
And kinda expensive natural French wines.
And still write with pieces of your childhood stuffed rabbit clutched in your hands because no matter how many track suits you own or how many wines you drink you are still an emotionally stunted and scared human trying to make something of herself. Which is always good to know. 

Anyway, this wine is really good. Birthdays are cool. Adidas is tight, thanks for sending me dope shit. I love Bun-Bun (suck it, Dad, yeah I've still got it, nice try trying to get me to throw it out when I was 10 HA HAAAA!).

Time to clean my house and get back to work and forget that birthdays are even a thing because there's way too much other shit to deal with than me being a year older. HA HAAAAA CAUSE I'M SUCH A GOD DAMN ADULT I'M SUCH AN ADULT MAN IT'S CRAZY I'M SO ADULTISH THIS IS WHY ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS AND I'M LIKE WHYYYY LOL IT'S CAUSE I'M GOING TO BE OLD TOMORROW! AND NOT THIRTY OLD. I'M NOT THIRTY YET. JUST ALMOST. BUT I MEAN IT'S COOL. AND EVEN THIRTY IS GONNA BE COOL. EVERYTHING IS VERY COOL. WE'RE COOL. I'M COOL GUYS.

Alright I just expelled all my energy caring for five seconds and now I don't care again. 

Such an adult! 

Tasting Notes: This wine is so good. Very much worth $31.99. It's got that natty freshness ya'all know I can't get enough of. The color is a deepening purple, like a very dark sea. It smells like fresh blackberries, anise, and a little ashy. The palate is super refreshing and poppy, with lots of raspberry and pepper, and a hint of my own tears.

Ross Test: I Ross Tested HALF THE BOTTLE. I only got a glass because I was like, "Oh, it'd be irresponsible of me not to at least try it in a glass." Enough said.

YES WAYYY ROSE

THIS SHIRT RULES, BUY IT AT YESWAYROSE.COM AKA RIGHT HERE ON THIS LINK

Leliévre Gris de Toul Millésime 2013

Leliévre Gris de Toul Millésime
Price: $18.99
Region: Lorraine, France
Year: 2013
Retailer: DomaineLA

Today felt like summer when I got home from work. The house was warm despite the AC, and the sun was low and bright despite being nearly six. I peeled off my jeans and went braless. I was listening to some new songs I was really excited about, and you have to know that every great summer has great accompaniment. 

I'm elated right now.

And maybe it's the weed I smoked when I got home, something I never do. Or the new vibrator I bought myself for my birthday next week, something I haven't done in probably ten years.

But I'm pretty sure it's being braless with a beautiful rosé and knowing that even though it's only March, I can feel this summer starting to squeeze softly on my soul. I couldn't say it any better today than I did in this Tumblr post from 2008:

Yesterday I felt it. I drove across that barren, reptilian highway, following the green signs to the promise land: Los Angeles. My skin was warm where the sun shined in through the windows & the the AC was just right. Right then, I felt it. That was how summer felt. Sunroof open, music blaring; I could almost hear my friends laughing in the backseat, singing wholeheartedly in their day-drunk to Jens Lekman, The Strokes & my infamous summer mixes of two thousand & six after a day of Captain Morgan & Coke where the western sun sets over the waves. I can never remember working in the summer or any domestic disputes. I know they were there but all faded away into the sunshine. The same desolate highways become stunning & promising trajectories toward some destination. It doesn’t matter where— the shoreline, the city, the middle of nowhere— they were all an unforeseeable adventure & an unorthodox paradise waiting to infuse my mind full of memories yet to be discovered & eternalized. 

The cynical side of me wants to laugh at that dreamy, idealistic child but I'm still that dreamy, idealistic child. Maybe more so than ever. 

And this rosé tastes just like that, an idyllic dream of Richard Linklater scenes where we're all falling in love and the scenery is practically a painting dripping all over us.

This Rosé is 90% Gamay, which probably explains a lot of the hearts in my eyes, but I want to drink this every warm day for the rest of the year. I want to be sunbathing with dozens of strawed bottles of this all around my lawn chair so that anywhere I put my face, I have at least three glasses at my disposal. I want to drink this all of summer 2015, and I want to take it back with me to every other perfect summer I've ever had. Because that's what it tastes like, a perfect summer. 

Salty like the ocean and floral like the tiny star jasmine hedges I would run past every night at dusk in my neighbor's year. A little chlorine-y, but it's the minerality, and I just have this weird affinity for chlorine. I'm weak in the knees. My thoughts go directly to hot concrete, first kisses, the sound of badminton in the backyard, and Sex Wax.

I've never loved a Rosé like this. I may have thought I did, but nope. Definitely not. Definitely have never wanted a Rosé in my mouth night after night after night like this. I'm not even finished with the first bottle, and I'm fantasizing about the next.

I don't even know what else to say. I wish I could write a song about this shit. I'm a fool for Leliévre Gris de Toul Millésime. A GOD DAMNED FOOL.

Tasting Notes: Alright, aside from what I already told you with its salt and floral and minerality, it reminds me of a jar of pepperoncinis. For the record, pepperoncinis are one of my favorite things in the world. I eat jars of them just alone while chilling in front of my fridge. It has to do with the high acidity, but it's super balanced. I would never tell you a wine tasted like pepperoncinis unless it was fucking delicious so just roll with me. It's so well-balanced, that this is a tangy treat. Ugh, someone please send me a million bottles?

Ross Test: The acidity gets to be a little questionable out of the bottle, but I think it would be very refreshing midday when it's really fucking hot.

Kaiken Ultra Malbec

Kaiken Ultra Malbec
Price: $17.99
Region: Mendoza, Argentina
Year: 2012
Retailer: Wine.com

Malbec has been the "It Girl" of wines over the last few years. Twenty years ago, you wouldn't have seen a Malbec on a menu. Now, it's on the tip of everyone's tongue when you're out to eat. It's the new go-to, with everyone who used to only drink Cabs now slyly mentioning Malbec with a slight air of pretension. 

And I make fun of those people and Malbecs.
And the great thing is, that Malbec can take it. 

Malbec is a simmering velvet powerhouse that laughs right along with me. Malbec knows she's been in Mendoza since the late 1800's, killing the game. Sure she appreciates all the new critical acclaim and popularity, but at the same time, she knows you're being kinda starfucker-y with her. I mean who goes around pompously name dropping like that?

Oh, right. 
Wine drinkers and starfuckers. 

That being said, I love me a good Malbec.
And the Kaiken Ultra is an It Girl.

Fashionable and charismatic, this is the kind of wine I wouldn't mind bragging about hanging out with if I saw her on a menu. I'm not even that kind of person, but I would be so happy to be out and be like, "OMG! I totally hung out with her one night! She is a little intense at first, but if you just let her open up for half an hour, she is really smooth and like, pretty graceful. I like, love her. We should totally have her!" And then we could all take a selfie together and post it on Instagram in a very humblebrag sort of fashion.

Speaking of which, I should probably Instagram this. [insert Miley face]

Tasting Notes: Smells like lavender soap, blackberries and pepper. The palate is full and round, with lots of tobacco and plums. It has made me hungry for a big saucey bowl of pasta, or a pork chop, or some Saint Andre cheese. What I'm saying is-- this is a great wine to serve with almost anything so it's time for dinner.

Ross Test: Not worth it. The acidity that is so well-balanced in the glass becomes way too overpowering when chugging.

Vincent Caillé 'La Part Du Colibri' Gamay

Vincent Caillé 'La Part du Colibri' Gamay
Price: $11.99
Region: Loire Valley, France
Year: 2013
Retailer: DomaineLA 

Ah, my affair with Gamays continue. I just can't quit these fuckers. 

I love this Gamay because it's meeting in the middle between the girl I was and the woman I've become. It's a fancy French wine, but on a budget. I remember the first time I bought $12 wine. I won't name names, but I remember not being that impressed with it in comparison to the $3 - $6 I was drinking.

Well, this is a huge difference. There is such a huge difference between a large producers $12 and small producers $12. It's like comparing Kraft cheese to Tillamook.

Tillamook is still a larger producer.
But their Sharp Cheddar is BOMB AS HELL, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(Plus it's still in the relative price range, ya dig? Can't be telling you to give up shredded bags for Hooks ten year aged, now can I?)

The fucking point is, this wine is delicious and a steal. It's lively and lovely and will please both eccentric red wine lovers and light red wine lovers alike. 

I have to go because it's Friday and my friends are here and I've been working all week on a sample chapter for my book that I finished last night-- yes, my book you read that correctly, very exciting stuff, sorry that's why I haven't been around, thank you to everyone who has been a supporter + fuck you to the commenter who said I talked like I was twelve last week, seriously suck my dick-- SO. THIS IS MY TIME TO CHILL. WHICH YOU ALL KNOW I VALUE AND RELISH IN. 

I HOPE YOU TAKE A BOTTLE OF VINCENT CALLIE TO CHILL WITH YOU NEXT TIME YOU CHILL CAUSE I FEEL LIKE THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY CHILL CHILL. LIKE THE CHILLEST. LOOK AT ME. I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE YOUR DAD BEFRIENDED AT THE BAR ON A CRUISE SHIP AND GAVE YOUR BEDROOM AWAY TO WHILE THEY "GET BACK ON THEIR FEET".

Which is true.
You're never getting your bedroom back.
It's mine now.
Your dad and I and Vincent Caillé Gamay are all best friends now.
100% not sorry. xoxoox

Tasting Notes: Gorgeous garnet color, like seriously? Someone get me some earrings made of this shit. The bouquet is super fresh, like wet lemongrass and rosemary tanning in the summer sun. The palate is bright, with lots of blackberries and lavender. I kinda want a candle of this. But it does not taste like a candle. Except maybe it does cause I own some expensive ass candles I'd definitely be down to drink.

Ross Test: Very good. A little acidic on the back end, but still, very good. 

Ranchería Cellars Merlot

Damn this Ranchería Cellars got me stepping out from my usual! I'm tough on Merlots, but this one from Silverlake Wine's Blue Monday tasting last night was so good I had to purchase. Hard to find a palate so savory yet so bright. Deep dark fruits + cedar + light herby notes. Definitely going to be a summer BBQ go-to.

Approximately $17 (Sorry I was already drunk by the time I bought this and was one hundred percent not paying attention but swear it's under $20)

Valentine's Day Is About Love, Of Wine

Valentine's Day. A lot of people hate it, and I gotta say to those people: you're missing the point. You're of course right that this shit is trite as fuck and it doesn't matter, but who cares! It's a wonderful excuse to drink lots of wine with your loved ones, whoever that may be. Could be your signif'other or it could be your childhood best friend or it could be your mom or your cat or a Lush bath bomb. Doesn't matter. What matters is what always matters with holidays: WINE.

Take a date with one of these reds, and you'll be feeling the love in no time.

Evolution Red
Price: $15
Region: Oregon

This would be a great wine to share with a date, for a couple of reasons.

Let's start with the label. On the back, it has this funny infographic timeline that starts at "Amoeba Multiply" and covers historical moments like "T-Bone Perfected" and "Aliens Land And Build Pyramids", and finally ends in the era the call "Pretty Much Now" with a moment called "Pour. Sip. Evolve. Repeat." That alone is a great conversation starter. If the History Channel has taught me anything, it is that people have a lot of opinions on Aliens building pyramids.

Another great conversation starter: the legs. This wine has legs for days, which is always a nice segue to talk about your legs, or their legs, or someone's legs, and hopefully then you can talk about butts or tits or whatever you like that is stacked upon a human's legs. And then just bone down right there. JK. Actually, JK about JK cause that sounds like it could be a super hot.

ANYWAY, ok, if you don't get caught up in legs and hot sex, you could pair this wine with some really fun date dishes you could cook together. It's a really smooth Syrah blend that is bold up front and softly subsides into a lovely warm finish. Build some pizzas, grill some steaks, take a crack at your Grandmother's bolognese and fuck it up and just laugh and have more of that hot sex I was mentioning. 

On the other hand, I am alone drinking this right now, and I've never felt less alone. I've got Getz/Gilberto playing and I feel so warm and fuzzy and full of love. Open this bottle and eat some BBQ any day of the god damn week cause you need to love yourself all year.

Tasting Notes: Big cherries, cinnamon and tobacco

Ross Test: Surprisingly great. Usually things that good in a glass suck at chugging but, delicious! 

La Lunotte Les P'tites Vignes
Price: $20
Region: France
Year: 2013

This is my bath wine. I light my fancy candle (you know, the one you never light except to impress dinner party guests), put on some jazz, vigorously pour/throw bath salts like champagne in a 90's rap video, and serve this Gamay chilled. To myself. I serve it to myself. And I'm like, "Oh, thank you! You're so kind! I can't believe you're sharing this with meee!" 

It's such a pretty feminine color, but don't let that fool you. This ain't no L'Oreal Riche. It's a really bright, light, funky, and fun little number. It's Sex In The City in a glass, which is a tired comparison I'm incredibly embarrassed to be using, but I just started watching the show, so please just let me have this this one time.

Right off the bat, it's totally a Carrie with it's very fashion-forward funk. But then it has Miranda's restraint. And then it finishes soft like Charlotte's smile. But the whole time you're like AHHH I COULD FUCK THIS WINE! Cause it's a Samantha at heart.

Anyway, so this is the part of the post where I just go kill myself for that paragraph I just wrote.

Eh. Changed my mind. Not sure if there's wine in the afterlife.

Tasting Notes: Funky but balanced. Manure on the nose, and roses and pepper on the palate. But not at all overpowering. Very drinkable, and a new house staple for me.

Ross Test: Good, but a little much. 

Stolpman Vineyards Rosé
Price: $17
Region: California
Year: 2014

This wine is like a date that you thought was going to go badly, but ends up being awesome. You're like, "Wow, really glad I stuck around despite thinking he has been wearing the same cologne since 8th grade!"

If you couldn't tell, I am not a huge fan of this bouquet. It comes on sweet, the one thing that immediately puts me off with wine and men. 

Not that I thought my now boyfriend of nearly six years was wearing some CVS cologne when I met him, but he was sweet to me. He wasn't even annoyingly sweet, he was just "sweet" as in "how someone who respects another human and probably wants to put their dick inside them" kind of sweet. Like, good sweet. Really good, great, amazing, perfect sweet.

But to me, a legit kind of damaged human who was super into dudes who were super not into her cause hey, Dad stuff probably, I was like, "What is this? What do I do with this? I think I like this dude? Like a lot. But he's sweet I don't like sweet dudes why is he so sweet to me uhhhh I should probably keep seeing him cause I'm just not used to it and I think dudes are supposed to be sweet to ladies? And I'm a lady? OK maybe sweet is actually pretty cool, and has a super sharp witty side and isn't a weird softy that is obsessed with me and wants to hand-make me cards or marry me tomorrow, oh right cause the problem this whole time was me, this is actually just awesome."

The point is, you should give things a chance. Because despite a sweet bouquet, there's a good chance that there is a compelling and refreshing palate there that you are destined to hang out with forever. 

Tasting Notes: I'm mostly impressed by the minerality of this wine, because from that sweet nose, you're really not expecting it. And I love it. So yes, a wonderful minerality, plus crisp floral notes and a subtle hugging finish.

Ross Test: Enjoyable, and encouraged! 

SIDE BAR:

Guys... gals, people, homies, readers! I'm sorry my natural inclination is to say "guys", but! The point is! Don't let Valentine's Day define you. YOU DEFINE VALENTINE'S DAY. It's a day that some random-ass human one day was like, "Oh this is a thing now", and now it's a thing; a weird mostly corporate bullshit thing that was super fun in second grade when everyone was required to give Valentines to the entire class. But what that thing is in your life now, is entirely up to you. So make it the best it can be. Make it an excuse to have a really fun day, no matter how you do it. Every day, whether it be a Hallmark holiday or not, is a day for you. And an opportunity for you to live your life just as you'd like to.

Hopefully with wine.

Les Heretiques Red Table Wine

Les Heretiques
Price: $10.99
Year: 2013
Region: France
Retailer: Silverlake Wine & DomaineLA

I would like to pretend the above photo is that of an older, wiser Lydia Deetz but in reality this is what I look like after one full week of trying to conduct my three day jobs plus my own shit plus eight thousand conferences calls &/or meetings.

Last week, I was honored to be profiled on Grub Street by Sierra Tishgart. There was an email Friday, a phone call Monday, and Tuesday my life kind of changed. I'm only telling you this because when I was asked to be interviewed for Grub Street, I was like, "Of course! Awesome!  [an hour of high kicks alone in underwear in bedroom]" because I was crazy psyched, but at the same time, I had zero expectations because there have been a thousand things I thought would change my life that didn't. So now I never expect that.

I really did not expect how shit would suddenly go real Drake, like 0 to 100 REAL QUICK. 

Things are happening my friends, and I couldn't be happier, or feel luckier, or feel that all the time I felt I was writing for no one was well spent. And it's not even just the article and the opportunities that have arose from that. But just everything. So much is happening right now, more so than ever before for me, and I'm doing my best to breathe and enjoy it all.

Usually I try to bring this all together and tell a story. And I'm not sure there is a story here.

I'm just an exhausted and grateful woman drinking an insanely well-priced Carignan.

Which is actually, who I hope my readers are. I hope my readers work tirelessly for what they want, and then settle down with a beautiful wine at a reasonable price because they are still tirelessly working for what they want.

And this wine, is for those people. The people who work their asses off and never ask for favors and work even harder and just want to come home to a fuzzy glass of red wine and smile and give thanks and work even harder. Because you deserve a dope bottle of wine even when you know your career is coming one day and have $5.71 in your savings account today. 

Or so I like to tell myself. 

This wine is the best $10.99 wine I've ever met. I would take this to dinner parties full of industry professionals without blinking an eye. I wish I could pontificate more but IDK if you saw my face in that photo up there, but I'm legit tired. And if Better Call Saul wasn't on again tonight, you damn well better believe I would be in the tub from now until my 6AM call time.

But since it is, I've got to go put a mask on and zen the fuck out. Because red wines and facial masks just go together like, um, red wine and facial masks because that's the best pairing of all time. 

Tasting Notes: Bright and peppery on the nose, and similar palate. With velvety cherries and a bit of salty meatiness to it, reminiscent of a charcuterie plate. So damn drinkable, with a light lingering finish full of that pepper I was talking about. 

Ross Test: Fantastic!