Never in my life did I think my existence could be summed up so perfectly on a single piece of paper. And um, I will never be this cute ever. This is for sure the best I'll ever be. Thanks so much to the incredible artist, Maritza Lugo, for this incredible gift. I also purchased some amazing Bob's Burgers pieces too. Check out her site for tons of super cool illustrations!
Venturini Baldini Lambrusco dell'Emilia
Venturini Baldini Lambrusco dell'Emilia
Price: $19.99
Region: Emilia-Romagna, Italy
Retailer: Whole Foods
This Lambrusco is dry, earthy and prickly. Perfect if you love sparkling but hate sweet. It is crazy dark (talking Steve Brule, sweet berry wine right here) and will stain the shit out of your teeth (unless you're me and you're straight up immune to that shit), and your jeans (I am not immune to spilling shit). Great for starting, and ending, a meal with. Passed the Ross Test, but better in a glass.
Pampelonne Canned Rosé Lime
Pampelonne Canned Rosé Lime
Price: $19.99 for a four pack
Region: France
Retailer: Whole Foods
To continue my quest for the perfect canned wine, I bought the Pampelonne Canned Rosé Lime because I saw it, and uh, how could I not? It's sparkling Rosé, with lime.
And, it's crazy but, I think I finally found it.
I found the perfect canned wine!
The Pampelonne Canned Rosé Lime has a flavor I thought could only be found in the Pellegrino Limonata, one of my favorite carbonated, non-alcoholic beverages of all time. Have you had that shit? Refreshing and tangy and perfect? You know what I'm talking about right? It's fucking delicious.
Okay, so imagine that perfection
AND THEN ADD ALCOHOL.
And that is what the Rosé Lime is.
ACTUAL PERFECTION.
There is nothing about this that isn't perfect. From the palate to the packaging, this is my quintessential estival beverage. It is an absolute dream, something I conjured with a spell on Tumblr collaging beaches in far away places and vacations from yesteryear. It breaths an air that can't be obtained outside the blocks of Beverly Hills, or on a jetset to Santorini in the 70's. It belongs under a perfectly pink beach umbrella, being sipped by a beautiful bikini'd babe. Even the company's story is straight out of a foreword from a Slim Aarons' coffee table book:
It all began on the beaches of Pampelonne in St. Tropez, France. The sea, sunshine, music, beautiful people, and of course, the wine. In each can of Pampelonne we hope to capture those wonderful moments – full of the spirit and sophistication of the French Riviera.
Right on the label it has "Joie de vivre"
and I've never experienced a truer proclamation.
This is awesome for the pool because hey, no glass around the pool. It is also awesome for the beach because hey, it doesn't look like alcohol which is important, trust me on this as someone who has gotten a $250 fine for just quietly chilling and drinking wine on the beach. It is also for just blogging around the house in your bikini.
Pampelonne is my new everything. I'd call it a summer fling, but summer lasts all year round here in sunny Southern California, so actually this is true love.
Tasting Notes: Ideal effervescence, light and zesty. Thirst-quenching with a perfect acidic balance. So much citrus flavor without a big body or thick finish. Beyond easy and enjoyable. The absolute summer wine.
Ross Test: The whole can is basically just the best Ross Test of all time. The only thing better than Ross Testing one can of Pampelonne, is Ross Testing the entire four pack while working on your tan.
Underwood Canned Pinot Gris
In theory, Underwood's new canned wine was made for me. It stands for everything I stand for. It's unpretentious and fun, turning what the wine world used to be on its head. In the months leading up to its arrival at my local beer shop, I imagined spending my whole summer with it in love like some old timey Jerry Keller jam.
But, expectations are the root of disappointment my friends.
I did not love this wine. In fact, I didn't even finish it.
The Pinot Gris is too full-bodied for the aluminum. Not only can you taste it on the wine, but it just feels weird drinking it out of the can because it glugs out all thick. I mean, this is coming from a person who has no problem chugging wine out of a bottle or drinking wine out of a Diet Coke can, so it has nothing to do with chugging wine out of a can. I just don't think the Pinot Gris was a good varietal for this.
I feel like it would have been fine if I had poured it in a glass, but that defeats the purpose! Why buy wine in a can if I'm just going to pour it in a glass!
If you're looking for cold wine on the go, sure, go right ahead. I'm sure your friends at the picnic will be very impressed with you.
But I'm telling you, I didn't even finish a can. On a hot Saturday afternoon. Do you know how unlikely that is? SO UNLIKELY. SO SAD.
I'm still looking forward to trying the Pinot Noir. I absolutely love Underwood's Pinot Noirs in bottles, so I'm hoping for that same quality in a can. Although, I'm keeping my expectations low. It's not healthy to have your heart broken twice before August.
New Wine Time Coming Soon!
I'd been using FCP 6 on my boyfriend's old seven year old desktop forever and then it just was like, "Nope. We're done here." So, I finally upgraded my shit and got FCP X on my laptop. It's really fucking annoying, but hey, at least I'm back to editing! So hold tight. xoxo
Spicy Delta Cocktail Recipe
Spicy Delta
• One or two shots of tequila
• Muddle two slices of jalepeno into tequila
• Equal parts grapefruit juice & ginger beer
• Ice
We made this over the weekend to celebrate the first day of summer. But be careful with the jalepenos. If they're really potent, this drink will fuck your lips up for like an hour. If you want to play it safe, regular old Deltas without the jalepeno are also super delicious.
For the record, the Delta was originally created by my wonderful better half, Ben. Although, I brilliantly brought the heat. We're a great team like that.
La Bulle Vin Mousseaux Gamay, Production Unique Rebelle (P-U-R)
La Bulle Vin Mousseaux Gamay, Production Unique Rebelle (P-U-R)
Price: $20
Year: 2012
Region: Beaujolais, France
Retailer: DomaineLA
Growing up, I wanted to be the girl who inspired The Beatles' "Girl". That was my whole thing. I would sing that song every day after school into the tiny locker mirror I installed in my armoire. It was all I ever wanted to be. A girl who you wanted so much it made you sorry. A girl that you would breath in deeply through clenched teeth over. I wanted to be so hot, I'd ruin someone's life. Particularly, John or Paul's life in 1963. That was my dream. To be a cool, manipulative, hot bitch who got whatever she wanted and crushed men in her wake.
Because in reality, I was the girl whose friends convinced her putting a note expressing her love to Joey Lara in his locker was a good idea and he read it at lunch and it ruined my life. Much to my dismay, I never ended up ruining Joey's life, or anyone's life for that matter, with my beauty.
It's fine. I'm over it. I'm fine with it. I mean, sure yes, I would love to still ruin someone's life with my beauty but I think that time has passed and I'm very happy and in love so I mean, yeah, it's fine. I'm fine.
The point is, I look at this bottle and I see that Girl I wanted to be. Look at her. Look at the woman on the fucking label! She is living the dream! SHE IS IN AN EFFERVESCENT BATH OF FRENCH ROSE! LOOK AT HER LEGS! SHE'S A BABE! SHE PROBABLY IS THE SAME BITCH THAT MADE LENNON SLEEP IN A TUB IN "NORWEGIAN WOOD"!
At any rate, the fact that she has time to take a bath or even a big-ass tub to take a bath in, makes her a hero.
It does help that this wine is one delightful, sparkling, little number. It reminds me of a glorious, less bubbly Lambic, all raspberry and beautiful. It's luscious, with a nice soft body. Ugh. It's too much. I'm like, about to become a lesbian for this inanimate object I've decided has slept with a Beatle or two.
Ahhhh, Girrrrr-rrlll [ssssshhhhhhhh]...
Tasting Notes: Just like a Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. Your inner child will rejoice. You can taste zero alcohol, which would be a problem but there's only 7% alcohol, so go wild! Very juicy and sweet, but very fun. Great to open a meal with, or for dessert. Or to just drink on your own on a summer afternoon while listening to old Beatles' vinyl, dreaming of all that could have been if you'd been born in the 40's.
Ross Test: Tastes like breakfast. For real. There is like no difference between throwing this back or throwing back some Cran-Raz before work.
Q&A: The Ross Test
Thanks Kiel for writing in!
It used to take me half a bottle, but now I’ve got it down to about half a glass. Practice makes perfect!
Send me questions, comments, or wine suggestions of your own here or you can always email me.
Evviva!: Wines I Enjoyed In Italy
I spent nine glorious days in Italy. Here are my favorite wines I had, in no particular order. They are all refreshing, light whites and bright, airy reds-- the kind of versatile and approachable wines that are crowd pleasers even (when you're traveling) with non-wine-drinkers. I wish I'd taken more meticulous notes other than, "This is really fucking good", but hey, I think that is the most important note of all.
I can't wait to add them to my personal wine collection back here in the states!
• Elena Walch 2012 Pinot Nero Alto Adige
• Giuseppe Quintarelli Bianco Secco & Pinot Grigio
• Antoniolo 2011 Juvenia Coste della Sesia Nebbiolo
• Angiolino Maule I Masieri Bianco Veneto
• This one that I can't freaking find anywhere, it looks like "M1oo0 Lazio" but my photo is too blurry and I didn't have service in the restaurant and then I forgot to look it up again. Sigh. I will add it as soon as I find out from the restaurant what it was because it was fantastic.
• One million Aperol Spritzes
• All the free champagne first class would give me
Un Saumon Dans la Loire 'La Boutanche' Sauvignon Blanc
Photo by Antoin Huynh
'La Boutanche' Sauvignon Blanc
Price: $14.99
Year: 2013
Region: Loire, France
Retailer: DomaineLA
Ah, June! The beginning of my favorite season, summer. With all its bikinis and white wine, what is not to love? And there isn't a better way to kick off the estival months than with a beautiful Sauvignon Blanc. #sauvignonblancyaall
I'm blinded with love over this bottle of Sauv Blanc. First of all, the La Boutanche label features what looks like a trout in a varsity jacket pouring a bottle of wine on its head. I'm sorry but if you see a label with a fucking trout in a fucking varsity jacket and you don't buy it, well, I mean, I don't want to say you're an idiot, so I will say that we have very different esthetic predilections. And you're an idiot! IT'S A TROUT! IN A VARSITY JACKET! IT'S THE COOLEST LABEL I'VE EVER SEEN.
Secondly, holy shit, this may be my new favorite Sauvignon Blanc of ALL TIME. It could not be easier to drink. So bright all over and so smooth going down. The palate on this bad boy is so fresh and citrus-y, with a crisp clean finish. It tastes like white cotton crew-necks hang-dried in a lemon orchard's summer breeze-- right before really cool Trout-Guy throws it on and rolls a pack of cigarettes into the sleeve, and you fall in love with him next to the gazebo in the downtown square during the Thursday night Street Fair in your hometown.
So, what I'm saying is, this wine is your summer fling. After drinking it, you're going to want to dance and make-out and drink more. And then fantasize about it all night. And wonder if you should text it tomorrow.
Good thing you can guiltlessly take it to bed any damn night you damn well feel like.
Tasting Notes: Super citrus on the bouquet and palate, with a nutty hint on the back end. Lovely brisk finish. Just so, so easy to drink. It's a joy. Perfect for fish and salad, definitely perfect for hot afternoons/evenings/whatevers.
Ross Test: Delicious, but more acidic than you'd expect. Although I love it, I love it enough to tell you to keep it in the glass and savor those butterflies.
Special thanks to Whitney Adams, who works at DomaineLA and is the best wine blogger/my favorite somm, for picking this out for me. It's awesome not only because the wine is fucking awesome, but because it's imported by Selection Massale. I love both DomaineLA and Selection Massale for their great range of small scale vintners that you definitely can't pick up at the grocery store (which sucks when you're stuck at Ralph's in a pinch, but makes the wines all the more special).
