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Le Sot de l'Ange "Rouge G"
Varietal: Gamay
Region: Loire, France
Year: 2014
Price: $22
Retailer: Silverlake Wine
2016 is here, and it wouldn't look like much has changed aside from the fact that it is finally raining in Los Angeles. I'm still here drinking Gamay and spending too much time analyzing true crime. WHICH IS PRETTY IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO DO IF YOU HAVE WATCHED MAKING A MURDERER.
I probably have only vaguely mentioned it here, but I LOVE TRUE CRIME. YES IN ALL BOLD CAPS. Being a hermit who stays home drinking wine all day, it is easy for me to devour endless podcasts, get lost in Reddit rabbit holes and get stoned and regret Google searching crime scene photos. I watched the entire series of Making A Murderer in 24 hours, and have even started rewatching it because apparently I am a masochist.
I don't want to get into.
But I don't think Steven Avery did it!
I mean sure, if the evidence was found how the prosecution presented it was found then of course, he should be a suspect. But those fucking blood marks in the car look like they were straight-up Q-Tipped from Essie's Tomboy No More nail polish, and if I believe the blood was planted then I have to believe that everything was planted, SO I BELIEVE IT WAS ALL PLANTED AND STEVEN DIDN'T DO IT.
But like I said, I don't want to get into it. Anyway.
Yesterday I nabbed this bottle I hadn't seen before from my homies at Selection Massale. I trust them like I trust my own blood and bought it without hesitation. Gamay? Loire? Selection Massale? What could go wrong?
I bet that's what Steven Avery thought too. Then eight days later they've got him for murder based on a car key that mysteriously showed up behind some slippers. Now, I'm no detective, but from my experiences with car keys, they are never just hanging out in the open. Car keys are one of the hardest things in the world to find, along with lost arks, mythical lake monsters, and Obama's birth certificate.
But seriously, I don't want to get into it.
Unlike Steven Avery, nothing went wrong with this wine! I'd even go as far to say that this wine tastes like I just won a 36 million dollar civil case it's so good!
WHICH STEVEN SHOULD HAVE WON.
OK MAYBE NOT 36 MIL, BUT SOMETHING!!!
AND NOT BE IN JAIL BECAUSE SCOTT & BOBBY DID IT!!!
OKAY, I'M SORRY WE REALLY DON'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
What we do need to talk about is how much I love this wine. It is an outstanding example of what I love about biodynamic Gamays. Straight-forward, bright and punchy, the Rouge G is the life of the party. Or perhaps more accurately, the party itself. It's energetic and fun most importantly, but there are the other nuances. Shadowy, sensual little corners that aren't surprising but still exciting. Also the tiny residuals at the bottom of the glass look like tiny little glitters! IT IS A PARTY!!!
Tasting Notes: Candied barnyard boysenberry with light plumeria and licorice on the bouquet, like an adult pool in Willy Wonka's factory. Light and mad chuggable with poppy, smooth blackberry and a tart finish. So so good.
Ross Test: A bit acidic, but very glou-glou by my standards. Do it to it, babes.
Champagne isn't the only fish in the sea! Here is my guide to all sorts of fun bubbles you can ring the new year in with.
In this episode of Ask A Wino, we talk about how to open a bottle of bubbly without knocking an eye out of your face, which Champagnes are the bubbliest, what to drink on New Year's if you like reds, 2016 wine trends and I get sparkling wine up my nose.
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Calvin Klein Hampshire Red Wine Glasses
One of the questions I get year round is, "What wine glasses should I be using?"
It's a pretty damn valid question considering how many damn glass options there are. There's big bowled Pinot glasses and slightly tuliped Bordeaux glasses and Champagne flutes and coupes and then just like, a white wine glass? Is that what it is? No one knows. It just looks like a god damn wine glass.
Different glasses are made for different wines to accentuate their bouquets and give them room to breathe and open up. Of course, in a dream world, I would have a set of each type of wine glass for each type of wine, and I would be an extremely impressive human that no one would ever suspect spent the early portion of her twenties drinking Charles Shaw out of red Solo cups.
I've tried playing the multiple glass set game, and it is a costly one. Not only do you have your initial investment of multiple sets of wine glasses, but up-keeping these sets becomes obnoxious. I thought that my late twenties would usher in a time where friends, family and myself were more cautious with wine glasses but the truth is, shit happens and your wine glasses are going to break no matter what. Just this past week I snapped a stem while getting one off the rack and I was sober. So then, you're stuck with like, three Chardonnay glasses, five Cabernet glasses and one random Sauterine glass that you didn't know was for Sauterine but doesn't matter now because they're all fucking broken.
But go to any tasting and look at what you're drinking out of. Whether it's red, white or sparkling, you're probably drinking all three out of a standard red or white glass. The red standard glass is a touch rounder than the standard white, but seriously it doesn't matter. They're standard-ass wine glasses you an put whatever you want in.
My advice to wine drinkers is to have a standard, stemmed, glass set that you can service everything in that is easily replaceable. I specifically say stemmed because as much as I like tumblers for red wine, they are terrible for white wine. You don't want to be heating up that icy Riesling with those sweaty little palms of yours!
If you want to get a little fancy, you can do what I do and have two versatile, standard glass sets. I have one that is for every day drinking, and one that I save for special occasions and holidays, like these Calvin Klein Hampshire glasses.
I love the lead-free crystal CK Hampshire wine glasses because they are beautiful and exemplify my love of mid-century stylings more than my everyday glass-glasses I let my guests break in my bushes all summer. They remind me of Slim Aarons' Palm Springs, Eames chairs and Case Study houses. These glasses make me want to sashay through The Kaufman House in a vintage Dior gown, run my fingers along the backside of the body of a black grand piano listening to Nina Simone and Les Baxter, and graciously accept yet another Jello mold.
Mid-Century Bonus: Getting to feel like a housewife cleaning crystal glasses by hand!
JK I wash all my glasses by hand because I'm an insane person who also has polishing gloves.
When it comes to wine, the wine matters much more than what its served in. Your guests seriously don't care. And if they do, they're assholes who you shouldn't have over to drink wine with you anyway, so fuck them. And definitely don't let them near your fancy Calvin Klein crystal. They don't deserve to feel like they're in a Julius Schulman lifestyle shot.
So buy what you like and use them for everything. Even if they're gnarly goblets or some shit. Whatever. Just drink wine and be merry. Everything else will fall into place.
From hosting to gifting to buying to spilling, I've given Man Repeller all my best tips on being a wino this holiday season.
I had the pleasure of partnering with Saveur Magazine & Whole Foods to review some of my favorite holiday wines at Whole Foods, and also answer a few burning holiday wine questions like, "What goes with Turducken?" which is surprisingly my number one asked holiday question despite not knowing a single person who would actually make that shit.
Bechtold Alsace Crémant
Region: Alsace, France
Year: 2013
I always dreamt of living in New York when I was younger, and having a real holiday season. I'd imagine myself all bundled up and shaking snow off my jacket as I entered my apartment, which was much larger and with much more crown molding than I could ever actually afford in New York. There was also a fireplace, which from what I've gathered from my hundred visits to the Big Apple, is not a real thing for a writer under thirty. But I'd sit next to that fantasy fireplace and I would listen to Vince Guaraldi and drink wine and watch snow cascade down my window, down onto a quiet Brownstone lined street. I would have Meg Ryan's perfect hair, Meg Ryan's perfect poised "there's something so much more there" smile, Meg Ryan's sweater collection... okay, I would be Meg Ryan.
On the contrary, my holiday seasons have mostly consisted of me flipping off sandals and not being Meg Ryan.
Although the California Christmas experience is not the vision I stitched together from 90's movies, it has it's moments. I love the quiet ones, much like I imagined for myself in a borough where Tom Hanks lives. The instrumental version of "Christmas Time Is Here" hangs in the room while the freshly trimmed tree twinkles. The atmosphere is soft and warm, and truly relaxing. It feels like the first time you've really gotten to sit back all year. And even though all is calm, there is still a sense of excitement sparkling.
Few wines could encompass this feeling like the Bechtold Alsace Crémant. Smooth and crisp, this sips like a favorite white wine but has these tiny, spirited bubbles. They are not aggressive or even unruly. They are steady and comforting, like good company and conversation on your couch.
I love this wine because although it could very well be a celebratory pop, for me, it is a "sit back and enjoy the magic while we have it" wine. It's bright and merry without being a holiday office party wine. Even though it's sparkling, this wine is slower. I want to take my time with it, and subsequently take some time for myself.
This is the wine I would be drinking while I watched the snow fall outside my New York window. And this is the wine I will be using to take pleasure in the season here in California. Because no, it does not snow. But it was never the snow that I was looking for. It was the feeling. And with the right wine, a good cozy knit, and A Charlie Brown Christmas, it feels like everything I want Christmas to feel like.
LIKE MEG RYAN!
Just kidding.
Kinda.
Tasting Notes: Extremely light on the nose. The palate is effortless and scrumptious, like my mother's lemon bars. Well balanced minerality, and all around a wonderful drinker.
Ross Test: Bubbles are always a little tough but this one is do-able!
Folk Machine Charbono
Region: Suisun, California
Year: 2014
Price: $18.99
Retailer: DomaineLA
Fuck man. It's December. When did that happen?
I don't know why I'm surprised. I am surprised every year, as if December doesn't usually show up. You'd think I'd get over it after twenty some odd years living on Earth and all, but here I am, with my eyes popping out of their cartoon sockets at the sight of a calendar.
I love December so much. It is one of my favorite months. But it's bittersweet. No matter how many ornaments you hang, or cookies you eat, or mistletoes you strategically get caught under, it's still the end. It's easy to accept the passage of time when spring blends into summer and summer slides into fall's tranquil interlude. Not so easy when it's staring you down from three weeks from now and your new desk calendar you swear is going to change your life arrives in the mail shrieking "JANUARY! 20FUCKING16!" in your face.
This Charbono tastes like that. Bittersweet. Like I'm already sad about the bottle being gone while I'm still drinking it because I want it to last forever. It tastes like a night you know will end or... oh, no I'm sounding like lyrics from that one Eve 6 song. Okay, I'm done waxing poetic/2001. You are literate and of drinking age, you understand the meaning of "bittersweet".
It also tastes bittersweet because it tastes like slightly sour Cherry Coke, which is fucking remarkable. Sour and Cherry Coke are probably my two favorite flavors in the WORLD. To have them come together in my favorite alcoholic beverage is bonkers. I love that it strikes you on the tip of your tongue and then mellows out on the swallow, which sounds sexual but because I am my own editor, I'm LEAVING IT.
Although Charbono is one of California's original grapes, it is rarely produced these days. The Folk Machine Charbono not only utilizes one of California's "endangered" grapes, but it excels at it. Its bouquet is big and bold, but it's actually much lighter and charming than your nose would lead you to believe. Although it does have its tannins, they are well-balanced, making this wine a joy to drink rather than a chore. Truly a lovely bottle that I believe captures what I love so much about California's history and future in winemaking.
Tasting Notes: The bouquet is big, earthy and fruity with lots of crisp blackberries. On the palate, medium-light body with lots of dark ripe cherries, vanilla, nutmeg and a touch of orange. Dry but balanced tannins leave you thirsty for more.
Ross Test: PASS!
From Republicans to Stoners to that Aunt who won't shut up about the wedding you aren't even close to having, me and Munchies have the perfect wine pairings for your not so perfect family.
I'm Marissa A. Ross.
I write and drink wine.
I have no qualifications to write about drinking wine,
aside from the fact that
I do it all the time.
“Can I just be Marissa, please? I want to be hilarious and sexy and smart and insanely knowledgeable about wine.”
—Mindy Kaling, New York Times bestselling author of Why Not Me?
“Funny as hell … Wine. All The Time. breaks down one of the most exclusive-seeming concepts and industries of our time, making it more approachable and inviting in anyone who cares to participate.”
—Leandra Medine, founder of Man Repeller
“For ‘beginners,’ [Wine. All the Time. is] a fun start to the insanely beautiful and rewarding world of natural wine. For ‘mediums’ (like me) it's a great refresher and enlightener. For ‘experts’ it will remind you about what wine should be: freaking fun times! No boring bourgeois sleeper chapters … super funny and inspiring and very important to the impending food and wine revolution!”
—Eric Wareheim, actor, comedian and creator of Tim & Eric Awesome Show
“Well written, engaging, and crazy funny.”
—Michael Cruse, Cruse Wine Co. and SF Chronicle's Winemaker of the Year 2016
Not all drunk emails are from your ex! You can get them from me too!
