La Bulle Vin Mousseaux Gamay, Production Unique Rebelle (P-U-R)

La Bulle Vin Mousseaux Gamay, Production Unique Rebelle (P-U-R)
Price: $20
Year: 2012
Region: Beaujolais, France
Retailer: DomaineLA

Growing up, I wanted to be the girl who inspired The Beatles' "Girl". That was my whole thing. I would sing that song every day after school into the tiny locker mirror I installed in my armoire. It was all I ever wanted to be. A girl who you wanted so much it made you sorry. A girl that you would breath in deeply through clenched teeth over. I wanted to be so hot, I'd ruin someone's life. Particularly, John or Paul's life in 1963. That was my dream. To be a cool, manipulative, hot bitch who got whatever she wanted and crushed men in her wake.

Because in reality, I was the girl whose friends convinced her putting a note expressing her love to Joey Lara in his locker was a good idea and he read it at lunch and it ruined my life.  Much to my dismay, I never ended up ruining Joey's life, or anyone's life for that matter, with my beauty.

It's fine. I'm over it. I'm fine with it. I mean, sure yes, I would love to still ruin someone's life with my beauty but I think that time has passed and I'm very happy and in love so I mean, yeah, it's fine. I'm fine.

The point is, I look at this bottle and I see that Girl I wanted to be. Look at her. Look at the woman on the fucking label! She is living the dream! SHE IS IN AN EFFERVESCENT BATH OF FRENCH ROSE! LOOK AT HER LEGS! SHE'S A BABE! SHE PROBABLY IS THE SAME BITCH THAT MADE LENNON SLEEP IN A TUB IN "NORWEGIAN WOOD"!

At any rate, the fact that she has time to take a bath or even a big-ass tub to take a bath in, makes her a hero.

It does help that this wine is one delightful, sparkling, little number. It reminds me of a glorious, less bubbly Lambic, all raspberry and beautiful. It's luscious, with a nice soft body. Ugh. It's too much. I'm like, about to become a lesbian for this inanimate object I've decided has slept with a Beatle or two.

Ahhhh, Girrrrr-rrlll [ssssshhhhhhhh]...

Tasting Notes: Just like a Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. Your inner child will rejoice. You can taste zero alcohol, which would be a problem but there's only 7% alcohol, so go wild! Very juicy and sweet, but very fun. Great to open a meal with, or for dessert. Or to just drink on your own on a summer afternoon while listening to old Beatles' vinyl, dreaming of all that could have been if you'd been born in the 40's.

Ross Test: Tastes like breakfast. For real. There is like no difference between throwing this back or throwing back some Cran-Raz before work.

Q&A: The Ross Test

Thanks Kiel for writing in! 

It used to take me half a bottle, but now I’ve got it down to about half a glass. Practice makes perfect!

Send me questions, comments, or wine suggestions of your own here or you can always email me. 

Evviva!: Wines I Enjoyed In Italy

I spent nine glorious days in Italy. Here are my favorite wines I had, in no particular order. They are all refreshing, light whites and bright, airy reds-- the kind of versatile and approachable wines that are crowd pleasers even (when you're traveling) with non-wine-drinkers. I wish I'd taken more meticulous notes other than, "This is really fucking good", but hey, I think that is the most important note of all. 

I can't wait to add them to my personal wine collection back here in the states!

• Elena Walch 2012 Pinot Nero Alto Adige

• Tramin Lagrein 2013

• Contadi Castaldi Rosé

• Giuseppe Quintarelli Bianco Secco & Pinot Grigio

• Antoniolo 2011 Juvenia Coste della Sesia Nebbiolo

• Angiolino Maule I Masieri Bianco Veneto

• This one that I can't freaking find anywhere, it looks like "M1oo0 Lazio" but my photo is too blurry and I didn't have service in the restaurant and then I forgot to look it up again. Sigh. I will add it as soon as I find out from the restaurant what it was because it was fantastic.

• One million Aperol Spritzes 

• All the free champagne first class would give me

Un Saumon Dans la Loire 'La Boutanche' Sauvignon Blanc

View fullsize

Photo by Antoin Huynh

'La Boutanche' Sauvignon Blanc
Price: $14.99
Year: 2013
Region: Loire, France
Retailer: DomaineLA

Ah, June! The beginning of my favorite season, summer. With all its bikinis and white wine, what is not to love? And there isn't a better way to kick off the estival months than with a beautiful Sauvignon Blanc. #sauvignonblancyaall

I'm blinded with love over this bottle of Sauv Blanc. First of all, the La Boutanche label features what looks like a trout in a varsity jacket pouring a bottle of wine on its head. I'm sorry but if you see a label with a fucking trout in a fucking varsity jacket and you don't buy it, well, I mean, I don't want to say you're an idiot, so I will say that we have very different esthetic predilections. And you're an idiot! IT'S A TROUT! IN A VARSITY JACKET! IT'S THE COOLEST LABEL I'VE EVER SEEN.

Secondly, holy shit, this may be my new favorite Sauvignon Blanc of ALL TIME. It could not be easier to drink. So bright all over and so smooth going down. The palate on this bad boy is so fresh and citrus-y, with a crisp clean finish. It tastes like white cotton crew-necks hang-dried in a lemon orchard's summer breeze-- right before really cool Trout-Guy throws it on and rolls a pack of cigarettes into the sleeve, and you fall in love with him next to the gazebo in the downtown square during the Thursday night Street Fair in your hometown.

So, what I'm saying is, this wine is your summer fling. After drinking it, you're going to want to dance and make-out and drink more. And then fantasize about it all night. And wonder if you should text it tomorrow. 

Good thing you can guiltlessly take it to bed any damn night you damn well feel like. 

Tasting Notes: Super citrus on the bouquet and palate, with a nutty hint on the back end. Lovely brisk finish. Just so, so easy to drink. It's a joy. Perfect for fish and salad, definitely perfect for hot afternoons/evenings/whatevers.

Ross Test: Delicious, but more acidic than you'd expect. Although I love it, I love it enough to tell you to keep it in the glass and savor those butterflies.

Special thanks to Whitney Adams, who works at DomaineLA and is the best wine blogger/my favorite somm, for picking this out for me. It's awesome not only because the wine is fucking awesome, but because it's imported by Selection Massale. I love both DomaineLA and Selection Massale for their great range of small scale vintners that you definitely can't pick up at the grocery store (which sucks when you're stuck at Ralph's in a pinch, but makes the wines all the more special).

The Pinot Project Pinot Grigio

Photo by Antoin Huynh 

The Pinot Project Pinot Grigio
Price: $12
Year: 2012
Region: Italy

I was just in traffic for over an hour to go sixteen miles. Sixteen miles of pure, unadulterated, Friday afternoon bumper to bumper bullshit complete with cases of run of the mill Angeleno road rage and the kind of cramps that make you want to rip a gash into your torso and shove a gun in it a la Videodrome, except you actually fire the gun into your reproductive organs before your torso takes the gun for itself.

(If you've never seen Videodrome, I am both sorry for you and envious of you. It is a really fucking weird, kinda traumatizing 80's Cronenberg flick a dude took me to see on a date once and then, we did not have sex after. Or ever. )

Never have I been happier to come home to a bottle of wine than I was today when I came home to The Pinot Project Pinot Grigio (and medical grade painkillers). I'm such a fan of the Pinot Project Pinot Noir, and was beyond thrilled to hear they started producing a Pinot Grigio. I ran in, roughhoused my pets and then immediately put this in my mouth. No glass, just right down the hatch. Straight up OG 23-year-old-broke-ass-blogger-hatin'-life-Marissa style.

It had been awhile since I Ross Tested a bottle out of necessity. Life has been weighing heavily upon me this week, and I really needed to fucking chug wine. And it was amazing. Suddenly everything was Fleet Foxes' "White Winter Hymnal". That's what this wine tastes like to me. That melody. So light but so structured, specific but floating. Harmonious and zen-like. 

Not the actual lyrics though. This wine is nothing like coats or scarves. It is heat wave wine, wine to be drank like water in a lawn chair. I mean, we could replace "strawberries in summertime" for "pears and limes in the summertime" and that would work. 

I just wish I had nine more bottles of this. I can't believe I only have one, and I only have a few sips left. It is so, so delicious and versatile. It could go with anything you're cooking or anything someone else is cooking for you. This needs to be one of your staple summer whites. And as honorary Queen of Summer as voted by people on the internet, bow down bitches and drink this shit.

Tasting Notes: Lovely citrus-centric bouquet and palate. Fruit forward but perfectly dry without a hint of the fermentation process. Tastes like something you'd bite into straight off the tree in an orchard. So fresh. 

Ross Test: JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED, I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD BUT GOD DAMN, GOD BLESS THIS WINE

Wine Time: Bitch White Wine with Kimberley Gordon

Bitch White Wine
Price: $8.99
Region: Spain
Retailer: Whole Foods

Best friend and Wildfox founder, Kimberley Gordon, and I bitch about Bitch wine.

Check out more episodes of Wine Time here!

Cinematography by Antoin Huynh 
Music by Monster Rally 

New little tiny, Elton, and a nice bottle of Director's Cut Pinot Noir at Kim's house last night. One of my favorite places to be. 

Breakfast of Champagnions

Madonna Inn, California
Photo by Meredith Leyerzaph
Bikini by Wildfox 

Sofia Blanc de Blancs is one of my favorite go-to's to drink personally, as well as to give.  It's delicious, the bottle is beautiful and the packaging makes it an easy gift to grab when you're at the grocery store.

Carlson Trois Fleurs

Carlson Trois Fleurs 
Price: $25
Retailer: Whole Foods

Tonight I am drinking the Carlson Trois Fleurs. I was skeptical because it's 50% Gewürztraminer and in the past, I have not really been a fan of Gewürztraminer (I've only ever had like, two so I'm being really unfair here but whatever, LIFE'S NOT FAIR). Luckily the other two 25%s are Chenin Blanc and Sauvignon Blanc so there was nothing to fear, aside from fear itself and of course, bad buttery oak/heights.

I feel like if you're out in the world reading about wine, you're probably together enough to put together that this blend of three different Santa Ynez varietals is where they get the name "Trois Fleurs" , but just in case, well, there you have it.

When it first hit my mouth I was like, "I don't know about this."  But after a couple sips, I knew I was in for the whole bottle. It tastes like you're drinking the most beautiful rose garden, all yellows and pinks and corals. It's so perfectly sunny. And the garden just echoes Charles Mingus vinyls. So, it's the best garden you've ever been in, basically.

I guess we could say this garden really grew on me! BA-DUM-CHHHHHH!

Seriously though, this wine just saved me from my always-creeping-but-forever-staved quarter-life crisis. Wine is the original Xanax.

Alright, time to polish off this bottle and go shop online for things I can't afford.

Tasting Notes: Very floral on the front, with citrus and mineral on the backside. Crisp with a light but lingering finish. Would pair awesome with a white fish or a warm patio & good friends. Definitely a summer essential.

Ross Test: Doable. A bit too minerally and acidic for extended chugging. Best left in the glass unless you're really into not giving a fuck.

OUT OF BLOG REPLY

I've spent this week exclusively Ross Testing Emergen-C, pomegranate & orange juices, Cold Calm, Gaia Quick Defense, Delsym, DayQuil and NyQuil.

We will return to our regularly scheduled drinking as soon as my health allows.

In the mean time, WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?